Unrequired Work, Unshakeable Belief | The Burn That Makes You Unstoppable

In this inspiring compilation of The Burn Podcast, Ben Newman brings together two incredible stories of drive, purpose, and the relentless pursuit of growth — one from the world of wellness, the other from the hardwood.

First, Lexi Johnson, founder of Lexi J Wellness, shares how she turned a global shutdown into an opportunity to serve others. What started as workouts in her unfinished basement during the pandemic became a thriving community that empowers thousands of women to take control of their health and mindset. Lexi opens up about the powerful letter she wrote to her father that changed his life — and how that moment became the heartbeat of her mission. From small-town roots to nationwide impact, her story is proof that when your burn comes from a place of love and purpose, there’s no limit to what you can build.

Then, Drew Hanlen, one of the most respected basketball trainers in the game, joins Ben to talk about mastering the mental side of success. Having coached NBA stars like Jayson Tatum, Joel Embiid, and Bradley Beal, Drew reveals what separates the good from the great — a commitment to the unrequired work that others avoid. He also shares lessons from his book Stop Bullshitting Yourself, a wake-up call to anyone standing in their own way. Through his words, Drew reminds us that greatness isn’t about talent — it’s about consistency, accountability, and a refusal to settle.

Together, Lexi and Drew embody what The Burn is all about — the inner fire that fuels your discipline, the courage to believe before results appear, and the resilience to keep pushing when comfort calls.

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Chapters

• 0:12 Leaving Comfort For Impact
• 0:23 Pandemic Pivot To At‑Home Training
• 1:03 A Father’s Heart Attacks And A Daughter’s Plea
• 2:02 The Letter That Led To 120 Pounds Lost
• 3:21 From Small Town To Scaled Impact
• 4:41 Body Image Wounds And Early Bullying
• 6:11 Video, Vulnerability, And Worthiness
• 7:26 Sponsor Message: Q‑Logic Overview
• 8:48 Chasing Numbers Vs Training As An Athlete
• 10:42 Public Weigh‑Ins And Rewriting Standards
• 12:02 Arrowhead Stair Climb And Giving Back
• 13:26 Stop Bullshitting Yourself: Excuses Examined
• 15:46 Consistency And Intensity Working Together
• 17:08 Discipline Builds Confidence, Not Talent
• 18:28 Shrinking The Gap And Raising Stakes
• 20:21 A Father’s Burn To Save His Daughter

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:12

Tell us a little bit about that decision. Was it fueled by the burn? Like what caused you to leave comfort to go now do the amazing things you're doing?

SPEAKER_02: 0:23

Yeah. So I was a dental hygienist, and when the pandemic shut my gym down, I decided to take on a side hustle that ended up being a full-time job while I was working my full-time job of doing at-home, full-length, dumbbell-only workouts. So I wanted to give men and women across the c across the country an opportunity to really just pour into themselves in that unknown situation. Like everyone was in that cruddy situation together. And I felt like there was a window of opportunity for people to really develop when the world was crumbling around us. But you talk about the burden, and as you're saying that, I can point pinpoint very specifically what that brings me back to. So my dad was overweight my entire life. He had four heart attacks, which I mean, four heart attacks is terrifying, and especially your father. But you always think your dad is just larger than life and he's invincible. My dad's a firefighter. So I felt like he was the toughest guy on the planet. And to see him hooked up to machines and lying in a hospital bed just helpless, it really shocked me to my core. His first heart attack was when I was in junior high. And I one after the other, he just kept choosing those four habits that were landing him back in the hospital. And it was just so frustrating from the outside looking in because it felt like suicide by lifestyle. Like he was just choosing these things day in and day out. And eventually the other shoe was going to drop and he was not going to survive a fifth heart attack. So this happened for um really my entire childhood into my early adulthood. And anytime I had tried to have a conversation with him, I just didn't have the confidence or the tools to really navigate that well and you know, tell him how it was affecting me, tell him what he needed to hear, um, the hard truth that I can now. Um, so I had decided when I was in college, I was home for Thanksgiving break, and I always said, I was just gonna write a letter, I'll leave it on his night scene, and I'll just go back to school. That way I can say everything I need to. And in that letter, I said selfishly, I need you there to walk me down the aisle. I want you to meet my kids. I just I feel like the way that you're living is one that's satisfied with 50 years, and that's unacceptable to me. Like I need you to do this. And he called me as I was on my way back to school and we had a really hard, hard conversation. And I feel like rooting that back in how it was affecting me and how I wanted him to be around, how you know my mom needed him around, his grandkids needed him around. That really hit home. And he gave me that letter back when he lost 100 pounds. So he's he's lost 120 pounds and kept it off for you know the past four years now. And seeing that entire transformation, I got a front row seat to really not just one person changing their life, but seeing how it affects every single person that comes into contact with him. Because my dad took that step. I have a better dad, I got a better dad of the deal. My mom got a better husband, he got a promotion at work. So now he is, you know, a captain. He's a reliable figure in that department. My nieces and nephews get to, you know, shoot hoops and ride bikes with their grandpa. And now it's inconceivable to them that he would ever be on the sidelines and not be an active participant in their life. And that just, you know, it just lit a fire in me, thinking that, you know, a girl from a town of 400 could actually make a difference, could, you know, impact at scale. Because when you come up, and we talked about this before we started recording, but when you graduate from a town and you graduate with 20 kids, any everyone comes back, everyone, you know, does what everyone in that little town does. And it just didn't seem possible for me to be able to change the world or make an impact. And seeing that in my dad, it just got me thinking, kind of got my wheels turning as far as, you know, if I could just help one mom, then it wouldn't stop with her, it would impact her kids, it would impact, you know, the people that she worked with, her spouse. And if I could just do that one person at a time, I would eventually make a really big impact. So for me to take that leap from dental hygiene as that was, you know, be happening in my personal life, I felt like, you know, I would be doing myself and so many other people a disservice if I didn't go for it. The worst thing that would happen is I just I decided that, you know, I failed, but I wasn't gonna, I was going to let that failure be on me. I wasn't gonna leave it up to chances if I just didn't go for it, because that's a that's a failure in itself. So I I did that full time for a year before quitting dental hygiene. And here we are about four and a half years later, and I'm full-time Lexi J Wellness. I've got a team behind me, and we've impacted, I'm proud to say, tens of thousands of people across the United States.

SPEAKER_01: 4:41

Lexi, I was 125 pounds in fifth grade, and I was very heavy, and I was teased. I remember the Presidential Physical Fitness Award. I step on the scale and I'm like, why do we have to do this fitness assessment, right? Like, there's nothing fitness about me. And I remember standing on the on the scale and a kid behind me, you know, they read off my number. And I mean, I was heavy. I mean, I it was uncomfortable. And this kid calls me beluga butt, and and all of a sudden everybody's laughing and he's laughing, and it hurt me so deep to the core. And I've struggled with body image issues ever since. I mean, it became to where my my father would, you know, say things to me that were completely out of line and they were demeaning and they were hurtful. And I was always able to turn, I mean, back then I didn't call it a burn, but I was able to turn it into this burn by my love for basketball. And thank goodness I got to six foot two. I I stretched out a little bit and lost some of my body fat. But, you know, a lot of it was it was pain that caused me to say, I'm not gonna be heavy again. Right. And so I've gone through all of these body image issues, which now, you know, people are like, oh my gosh, it's crazy. You work out every day, you do this crazy workout. Well, a lot of it is just like, I know I'm not going back there. And this is the way that I know how to control it. But I share this to bring up for you the video that I thought was absolutely beautiful because so many people struggle with body image in so many different ways, right? It could be somebody who is heavy as a kid like me, and then all of a sudden saying, I will never go back there. I cannot go back there. I don't want that. I don't want to be teased, I don't like how that felt. And you put out this absolutely beautiful video on social media where you just with amazing transparency and vulnerability, and you told your story, really, which is the way that I uh viewed the story was this is the way society says Lexi Johnson should be. But Lexi Johnson's gonna be who Lexi Johnson's supposed to be. And to now see how you lead, to now see the energy that you bring to others, to now see the health that you live with. It is so beautiful. I'm gonna shut up. Thank you for inspiring me because I don't know if I would have gone this angle on a burn episode if it wasn't for watching that video. And I think this is so important for people who struggle with body image, who struggle with the way society tells them they're supposed to look. Let me be quiet, tell your story, because it really is amazing. This episode of The Burn is brought to you by our dear friends and partners at Q Logic. Now, you know I don't co-sign things, I don't believe in it. And I believe in John Chiarando and the team at Q Logics. He's built multiple nine-figure businesses with real integrity, real character, the kind of guy you want in your corner. But here's what happened all that expertise, all that knowledge, it was just his. Locked in his head, his decisions, his team, you couldn't access it. So John created Q-Logic. He basically said, How do I make everything I've built available to people who actually need it? Here's what that looks like. Q-Logic helps you see the blind spots in your business, the gaps you don't even know you have. You don't know what you don't know. They're your tour guide through that. Q-Logic helps you build systems that make your business work better, or they ask better questions if you're approaching it in the most effective way. And Q Logic has access to a network of businesses and resources, real connections, real synergies that can accelerate what you're building. If any of that resonates, go to Qyphen Logics, L-O-G-I-X.com forward slash Ben. Fill out a form. Their team will research your situation personally, then they'll tell you straight, can they actually help? Thank you to our friends and partners at Q Logics. Make sure you find out more about Q Logics and your opportunity to win more with them today.

SPEAKER_02: 8:48

Yeah, so in the video that he's mentioning, and to give a little backstory, I've always been an athlete growing up. And, you know, as we know, muscle is really dense. It's gonna take or it's gonna cause you to weigh a little bit more than maybe you appear. So I remember being in high school, and as a girl, I was 150 pounds. I'm 5'8, so I'm a little bit taller. But I remember like looking to the left and right, and all my friends were like 120. And anybody that I saw on social media or anybody on TV, they were 120 or 130. So I felt like something's wrong with me that I am this heavy. So then I got into my head that I'm going to be 130 pounds. Like, come hell or high water, I'm gonna make it happen. I would make deals with myself as far as like, I'm not gonna get off this treadmill until I hit X number. Like it doesn't matter how miserable I am, I'm gonna make it happen. And I just had that number in my head and it was fixated. Like, and I felt like as soon as I stepped on the scale, if if it read 130, then boom, all the problems in the world would disappear. I would be so carefree and happy. And I I worked my ass off to get to 130. And every single day I was thinking, once I get there, then I'll stop feeling this way. I'll stop feeling unworthy. I'll stop feeling, you know, less, less than. And I stepped on the scale and it read 130. And my immediate thought was like, I bet, I bet at 128 would probably feel even better. And it was then that I realized it's it's not gonna stop. It it wouldn't stop there. Because once I hit 128, I bet 125 would would be even more um appealing. And I just I decided like I have to change my mindset because you know, I can look in the mirror and I can see that all the hard work is paying off, that I have this physical, physically fit body, but I am not well in the head as far as like I don't feel good mentally. My my mindset is poor and it's just a race to zero at this point. So I pivoted and I'm like, I am I'm an athlete. I am going to be as strong as possible, I am going to be as physically fit as possible. And that scale, I'm not gonna let three digits on my bathroom floor dictate, you know, my mindset and my head space and the way that I lead and the way that I show up. So from there, I really just started training like an athlete, like I used to, the way that I actually enjoy, the way that you know causes me or leads me to be as functionally fit as possible. Um, and now I I'm very vocal and transparent about how much I weigh. I weigh like 168, 170 some days. And if you would have told me that in high school, I would have passed away. I would have thought that I was morbidly obese just because you know I I had that in my head that 150 was so heavy that I couldn't conceive of anything heavier. And now, you know, no one believes it. It's a funny party trick when people guess what a way are telling them. They're like, there's no way. Um it's simply just because I I'm I'm physically fit. I have a lot of muscle on my body. But as a woman with a platform, and I'm thinking back to myself in high school, there are girls that are being led and being um, you know, being influenced heavily by people telling them that they should be smaller, that they should take up less space, that they should wither away until society deems them more worthy. And that's just not the case. That I proudly stand at this weight, and I am so much healthier, so much stronger, so much more confident in who I am and what I bring to the table, that those that scale on my bathroom floor it no longer weighs on me mentally.

SPEAKER_01: 12:02

But what was that like for you to step into Arrowhead Stadium and to have a workout and to be walking those stairs, knowing your story, knowing you chased your dreams? I think it is just awesome.

SPEAKER_02: 12:18

That night, um, it was like a culmination of so many different things in that story. So the the event itself was a 9-11 memorial stair climb. Um, and we raised money for a local charity. We ended up raising over$22,000 in four weeks. Um it was a quick flash to bang, but it was such a success. But like I said before, my dad's a firefighter. So knowing his story and the fact that him and I got to climb 110 stairs in that stadium that we grew up going to the Chiefs Games, um, it was it was so surreal. And like I said, to think that my dad a decade ago would voluntarily do a workout like that would just it wouldn't be in the cards. It would be a joke. Um, so to do that, to look around and see all these people that came together in the Kansas City community, and it was beyond cool. That is the highlight of my year so far, and just something so special because it's one of those things where it feels like that was the culmination of so many different things leading up to that point. Um, and it really made it click as I was, you know, stepping off the stage after greeting and giving the introduction. I felt like this is just the the tip of the iceberg. This is just the beginning for us. Um, so that was beyond special.

SPEAKER_01: 13:26

Well, I I think it is uh it is beyond special. There's an energy when you watch those things. And uh I told you I was fired up to have you on the show. You probably were like, what are all these reasons he's trying to tell me? And it is just it is beautiful to watch your story and how you step into your story. Um, I I want to mention something that uh it's it's kind of a commonality, but a dear friend of mine, Jamie Kern Lima, who I've had on the show, wrote a book called Worthy. And when you mentioned that word earlier, I think your story just represents what it's like to live in worthiness and to know that you're good enough and to know that you're strong enough and to know that when you believe in you, you can do amazing things and change the world and you are.

SPEAKER_00: 14:08

I said, I want to be able to impact people's lives. And I said, there's no nothing better than to be able to shoot it straight to them and tell them exactly what they need, which is to stop bullshitting themselves. And I really do think that when you un you know unwrap that a little further, if you think about all the excuses, and a lot of them are justifiable excuses uh that are really holding you back, a lot of times it's just you holding yourself back. You know, it might be somebody that says, um, you know, like my dad before he started his weight loss journey, where he's like, you know, he's a butcher and he says, Drew, I don't need to get skinny. And plus, no one will trust a skinny butcher. I said listen, I I understand that like you don't want to, you know, to justify, you know, these things, but like people will trust a skinny butcher as long as you're, you know, and they'll actually they'll trust you more if you're a fit bird butcher that because that's what they want to do. And so that's a justifiable excuse. It might be somebody that says, I need eight hours of sleep, so that's why I can't wake up early and shoot a thousand shots before school every single day. Well, then go to sleep earlier or figure out a way to realign your days so that your priority of getting yourself better at basketball can can match up with the things that you want to do. It might be somebody that uh you know wants to improve their family life and they're spending all this time at a job they hate, and they're saying, Man, I wish my family life, I wish if you really wished it, you could readjust everything so that you can pour into your family, spend more time, be more present. And so I really do think that uh, you know, the results that we want are on the other side of the work that we avoid.

SPEAKER_01: 15:35

But why are details and the slow methodical process repeated over time? Why is that so important that you've learned to do things right as opposed to fast and done?

SPEAKER_00: 15:46

Yeah, I mean it comes down to to me a quote where you know I heard a quote a long time ago: consistency trumps intensity. And I love that because I was like, most people have these intense moments of motivation. You know, it's hey, I'm gonna lose a bunch of weight. And so that day they go and they get a really good hard workout, they have salad every meal, they're drinking water and nothing else, and then the next day they're so sore, they're so fatigued that they go right back to bullshitting themselves and go right back to the bad habits that led them to the weight problem that they were experiencing before that motivational moment. And so then I go, the consistency part. You know, those things that we deem small over time done consistently actually turn into big massive results. But the one thing I did never like about that quote of consistency trumps intensity is I was like, I like consistency and intensity. And so I love when you can start small, build consistent streaks. You know, there's one principle in there that talks about never missing two in a row, you know, and and you think about it, if you're doing a workout plan, and let's say, you know, New Year's New Me and everybody's all excited, all November they're tweeting, hashtagging what they're gonna do in the new year. And I'm like, if you really cared, you start, you know, now, not you wouldn't wait till Monday, you wouldn't wait till December 1 or January 1, but New Year New Me starts. January 6th, everyone goes back off their, you know, they fall off the rocker. They said they were gonna not drink for the whole month of January. And that first Saturday comes, they're out with their friends, and they're like, come on, man, just it's just one shot. They take the one shot. And then they're like, I already broke my promise to myself. I might as well just, you know, have a fun night. And then they feel bad, and now it's Saturday, and they say, I'm gonna start over on Monday. And to me, the hundred percent is easier than 90%, which is a concept that I've used my entire life. 100%. I've never drank an alcohol, I'm 35 years old. Not one sip I've turned down ten thousand dollars for one shot. I've never smoked, I've never done drugs. Um, you know, there's a bunch of things I just don't do because that one decision that I make makes a ton of smaller decisions for me. I never have to ask myself, is tonight the night I'm gonna drink? Is tonight the night I'm gonna have one shot? Is the night tonight the night that if I have one shot is two or three, is that okay? My one decision, I am not a drinker, then makes all the other previous, you know, post-decisions. And so when I think about the consistency over intensity, I think most people don't build enough momentum to ever get real results. And they don't build enough momentum to give their self confidence. And I really do think that the main principle in this book is not just eliminating your excuses, but it's also eliminating your excuses and building the confidence to finally, you know, go out and do whatever you want to do. Because I think that's where most people get hung up. Most people, when you talk about the details, they can even break down a good plan. But then they don't have the confidence that they're gonna follow through because if they look at the past, the evidence says you're not gonna follow through. You know, and so it's about building a detailed plan, but then also having that internal drive, the burn that fuels kind of the momentum, consistency part, that eventually then you start doing the intensity part. And if you combine those two, I think that you know everything's important. So the details to me is all about breaking things down from a big audacious goal into realistic steps that you're actually gonna do, not on just the days you feel great, but on the days you feel like shit. And I feel like that's when the people that truly win really win, is those moments of, you know what, I'm I want to shortcut, but I'm not gonna shortcut. I wanna cheat, but I'm not gonna cheat. I wanna skip that workout, but I'm not gonna skip. I wanna, I wanna have that unhealthy meal, but I'm not going to. Those individual little moments build that confidence in you that, you know what? If I made that one decision and it and it worked for me, I can do it again, and I can do it again. And I feel like that's what winners do is they constantly make these little decisions that seem so irrelevant in the moment, but it builds its internal belief system that says, I am bigger and better than anything that it comes at me that's going to try to get me off of my path to where I want to get to.

SPEAKER_01: 19:55

You know, it makes me think of a quote that uh have to give credit to uh my dear friend Erwin McManus, pastor in LA. And Erwin always talks about how your confidence comes from your discipline, not your talent. And a lot of people think that like, it especially stop bullshitting yourself. Okay, well, I would set this goal with you, Drew, but I don't have this, I don't have that. And we have to remember, like, when you say but, it negates what you said before it. So you have to step into belief. How often are you meeting people in the corporate world or the sports world? They don't even give them a chance to start becoming disciplined because, oh, well, I wasn't given that talent, I wasn't given that speed, I wasn't given this. And we hear it a lot. I mean, I think of the time I've spent with Jerry Rice. Jerry Rice will tell you, I was not the fastest guy, I was not the most athletic guy, but I was willing to outwork anybody. How does that apply to the corporate world, not just athletes?

SPEAKER_00: 20:48

It's funny, there's a section in the book that literally says everything before butt is bullshit. And it really is, because if you think we have all of these lofty goals, we have all of these uh expectations on ourselves, and then we justify it with a justifiable excuse. You think about somebody that is trying to uh get more sales, and they start talking about, oh, my region doesn't have as many people, my uh, you know, I don't get as many uh things handed to me, I have to actually cold call people. I and I'm like, if you wanted it bad enough, you'd figure out a way. And the thing that I always check people on in the corporate world is I I usually go to this and I say, if someone you loved relied on you to get that many sales, could you get that many sales? And when they hear it like that, they're like, of course. You know, like if I was like, hey, think about the person you love most, and they're like, okay, I got that person in my mind. And I'm like, how many sales are you getting? And they're like, I'm getting four a week. I'm like, great. How many do you want to get? They're like, eight a week. I'm like, perfect. Could you get not eight, could you get 12 sales a week if if you didn't, that person you loved end up spending a year in jail, end up, you know, not being here with us anymore. Of course I'd figure out a way. Okay? Why? Because it now it means more. So what you gotta do is four to eight, you're looking at it as just straight sales, which you don't really care about. You say you do, but you really don't care about. You need something that's gonna fuel that action as much as keeping a loved one alive, keeping a loved one out of jail. Like that is what you need. And so I really just think that most of people most of the time people don't have something fueling them enough. And so instead, they they live with that gap of I'm I need four, I have eight, I need to get to eight. There's a gap of four that I just can't shrink. And they have all these excuses for it, but if they wanted it bad enough, they'd find a way, and that's what it's about. It's about shrinking the gap. There's a cool story.

SPEAKER_01: 22:41

Let me capture something really quick. I got I gotta capture this really quick because Drew just said it. Go back seven years to when I was bullshitting myself for all the reasons why I wasn't gonna start a podcast. I'm too busy, I'm too this, I don't have this set up, I don't, and Drew just looked at me and he said, When's the first episode? And I said, Well, it but it Ben, when's the first? And he just made me go for it. And I did it. That's the burn. What he is just talking about is that fuel. Many people understand their why and purpose. Every episode you hear me say this. So, my why and purpose, I want to provide for my family, I want to do X, Y, and Z. Those are so meaningful. I've never said that they're not. But the burn is what if your family couldn't eat if you didn't do what you needed to do from a discipline standpoint today? That then becomes the burn. The burn is if I don't do my disciplines, my family doesn't eat. That burn fuels the why and purpose, provides for the family, and causes you to win. So this is why this is not really my show, it's his show. I've just been running my mouth on it for seven years. He was the author and the orchestrator, but that's what I want you to capture. When you hear him say fuel, it's that underlying piece that triggers you to then ignite that why and purpose, which I say every single week. I just wanted to capture.

SPEAKER_00: 23:54

Yeah, no, that's great. There's there's a story in the book that's really cool, um, and it and it talks about this, you know, overweight dad. And this overweight dad, they constantly, this family kept saying, Hey, we want you to get in shape, you need to get in shape, we want you to get in shape. And he wanted to get in shape, but he never was willing to go all in. You know, he always found reasons to not go all in. And uh, sure enough, his daughter got, you know, to the point where she needed a kidney. Well, the first thing they do when you need a kidney is they check everybody in the family and see if there's anybody that is, you know, that has the same blood type and same and the same, you know, they're willing donor. And sure enough, the dad was a perfect match. The problem was the dad was so overweight, they said, if we put you on the operating table, you could lose your life. He said, I don't care, take my they said, we can't do it. It's illegal. If we think that you're not healthy enough to do the procedure, we can't put you on that operating table. He said, Well, how long does my daughter have? He said, six months to a year, probably. You know, that's when the the kind of health complications will really go south. He said, Okay. Dad ended up losing a hundred pounds in a calendar year. At the nine-month mark, end up taking the kidney out, successful operation to save his daughter's life. That's what the burn is on a highest level. Think about that. A dad that made excuse after excuse, and he almost wasn't able to provide for his daughter because of his bad decisions, because of his laziness, because of his excuses. But then finally, when his daughter really needed him, he finally had enough passion, enough purpose, enough fuel, enough burn to go all in to lose that much weight so that he could give that kitty up.