Purpose, Courage, and Intentional Gratitude | Stories That Redefine Success

In this special compilation of The Burn Podcast, Ben Newman sits down with two guests who embody transformation in very different ways. First, Jimmy Rex shares how he walked away from a thriving real estate empire to build a life centered on purpose. After selling Utah’s most expensive home and reaching every professional milestone, Jimmy realized success without meaning felt empty. What began as a childhood wound — being told he wasn’t good enough — became the fire that drove him to prove his worth. But through deep reflection, he learned to channel that burn into something greater: serving others through his movement We Are The They, helping hundreds of men find connection, purpose, and love over fear.

Next, Shannon and Matthew Missimer open up about how slowing down saved their family and led to The Motion of Gratitude. What started as a simple reminder to “be more grateful” evolved into a life-changing mission to live intentionally and teach others to feel gratitude, not just think it. From downsizing their life to traveling through Costa Rica with their kids, the Missimers discovered that real success isn’t about doing more — it’s about being present, connected, and grounded in what truly matters. Together, these stories remind us that the greatest wins come not from achievement, but from alignment — when you live with intention, purpose, and heart.

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Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MyMZSfItme8
Listen on all platforms: https://www.theburnpodcast.com

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Chapters

• 0:12 From Real Estate To Service
• 1:23 The Empty Win And A Wake-Up
• 2:41 Finding Purpose In Men’s Connection
• 3:26 The Childhood Burn: Not Good Enough
• 6:21 Letting Go And Choosing Love
• 9:06 The Hard Is What Makes It Great
• 10:39 Courage, Networking, And Turning Points
• 12:49 Motherhood And A Deeper Why
• 14:22 Five Months, One Suitcase, Many Lessons
• 15:43 Building A Practice Of Gratitude
• 17:06 Anchors, Rituals, And Gratosis
• 18:59 From Material Rewards To Meaning
• 21:02 Costa Rica, Healing, And Integration

Transcript

SPEAKER_03: 0:12

Jimmy Rex, help us understand how does somebody go from making millions of dollars in real estate to saying, you know what? I just want to serve. I'm going into coaching.

SPEAKER_02: 0:23

Yeah, no, it's a it's it's a story worth telling, uh, Ben, because it's, you know, it's important that people know that this is something that took a long time for me to figure out what was going to be next, but it looked like it happened immediately because I've had a lot of my friends since I did this, I've had a lot of my friends and people near me that be like, dude, I want to, I need to find my passion. I need to find my thing because they can tell that I'm just, I feel like I'm in my dream job now. Like I get the opportunity, I'm coaching, you know, almost 400 men and and it's really is life-changing. I get texts multiple times a day from these men of how it's changed their lives. And what happened was about four and a half years ago, I sold the most expensive house ever in Utah, crushing real estate. I became the number one agent in the state that year. It was a$32.5 million house, which in Utah buys you like two mountains, right? And uh I made almost seven figures in like 20 minutes. And it just wasn't that fulfilling. I'd already been making a couple of million a year doing real estate. My team would sell three to 500 houses a year. I mean, we were crushing it. And I'd been on cruise control for quite a while. And about that same time, and this is probably where the burn came for me, there was a realtor that died. He ran a very similar business to what I did, and he got shot collecting rent at a fourplex and literally rolled them in a carpet and stuffed them in the in the attic. And um, when the story broke on the news, every single article and every single news story was like realtor dies, realtor this, realtor. This guy had seven kids. He was an amazing human. But I remember thinking to myself, Ben, I was like, if I died tomorrow and all the news talked about was me as a realtor, I was like, I don't know, I just would be sad about that. Like realtor was an amazing career for me. But I was like, I have so many connections, I have so much network, I have so much knowledge and things that I've been able to pick up from these amazing people in my life. I was like, I need to do something that's more impactful. And it was a burn that I could not put out. From that day forward, I became obsessed with figuring out what that was going to be. And so I spent a lot of time, a lot of coaches, a lot of meditation, a lot of figuring out what was going to be next. And I leaned into this thought and I just, you know, I started to pay attention. Like, what do people reach out to me for? And I had another book that had come out called You End Up Where You're Heading, The Hidden Dangers of Living a Safe Life. And it really talks about in that book, you know, I'd started going, I'd been to over a hundred countries, and I, you know, I've done all these crazy adventures, run with the bulls in Spain and swim with tiger sharks and all these different crazy things you can go do. And so people were reaching out about one of two things. They said, Where do I find friends like you have? And I feel like I'm stuck in life. How do I get out of this spot? Like I want to live a more, you know, a more fulfilling life. I know exactly how to help men connect on a deeper level. And so it immediately I went from feeling like an imposter, like who am I to coach other people to, oh, I'm the guy to do this. I know exactly how to do this. So I just took all this information I'd learned and I became obsessed with the idea of creating the best experience for men to go deep and to create deep, lasting connection. And that's how uh I came up with We Are Today.

SPEAKER_03: 3:11

But tell us about your burn that you discovered through a recent conversation you and I had. I think it is so powerful hearing this because as as people have heard, it comes in so many different formats. You've heard so many different stories, but this is very powerful.

SPEAKER_02: 3:25

Yeah. So when I was a kid, long story short, my brother Matt was the two-time state MVP, won the state championship a couple of times. And my dad got a lot of significance from that. He got a lot of attention from that. And he kind of wanted to recreate that with me. Um, but I wasn't as good at baseball as my brother was. I knew this. I was, you know, like an eight-hole hitter on a very good baseball team. But my dad had this idea, he'd seen some other guys around the state do this that to get held back at your eighth grades the last year, you can do it. And if you do that, you're just that much better because you're you're older. And he thought if I got held back, I could be a star player and really, you know, really be something. And long story short, he put a lot of pressure on me. He offered me a free truck, he had my brothers talking to me who I looked up to. He um, you know, offered me some cash. And ultimately, I I remember one day we're sitting in the driveway and he said, Hey, you got to make a decision if you're gonna get held back or not. And I was already one of the oldest kids in the school. I had, you know, uh, I was one of the smarter kids, to be honest. Um, I had good friends, I had a girl that had a crush on my age, you know, all the reasons to not get held back, and I just didn't want to do it. And thankfully I was a stubborn little shit. I said, Dad, I'm I don't want to, I'm not gonna do it. And he looked me in the eyes and he said, Well, just so you know, you're not good enough, you'll never play baseball again. And all I heard was, you're not good enough. And so that became my mantra. I'm like, I'll show him. So I literally had my baseball hat. I ended up making the team a sophomore year, and uh every year thereafter, I would write on the bill of my hat, you're not good enough. Now, at the time I was motivating myself, what I didn't realize is the power of words and affirmations. And what like I once I, as an adult, I saw my hat and I was like, oh my gosh, what have I done to myself? Like this self-talk of like you're not good enough, you know, I drove that home into my subconscious, literally for three years straight. I could see it 24-7 on my hat. And uh, and it did it, you know, and it it was a very deep burn and driving force. And I became obsessed with, you know, proving that I was good enough, proving to my father and everybody else. And so I became a great baseball player. You know, I went on a mission for my church and became the highest baptizing missionary. I got home and I started in real estate. I had to be the number one realtor. Um, but you know, what it really screwed me up was in areas like dating. Um, always trying to show everybody I was, you know, look at me. I'm I'm and God bless me. I was just like, what really I was saying was, I promise I'm good enough to love, right? Like, please love me. What it came off was was like, look at this new trip I'm going on, look at this hot girl I'm going out with, look at this amazing, you know, group of friends that I have that are all beautiful or whatever it might have been. And so I'm sure like people were seeing this from the outside and you know, were just like, dude, why is this guy always trying to like show how cool his life is or whatever? And and inside I was just screaming to like, I promise I'm worthy of getting to the love. But that burn really did drive me, and it caused me to be, you know, I ended up becoming the number one real estate agent in the entire state of Utah. I was selling hundreds of homes a year, making millions of dollars and doing a lot of other cool things too. It caused me to be a great uncle and you know, a great friend. I did date a lot of beautiful women, all these different things. So one day I was doing a, you know, I was with some friends and I saw my hat. I hadn't thought of this hat in 17, 18 years. And, you know, this was about five years ago. I saw my hat and I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, what have I done? Like I realized as soon as I saw the words on my hat, I was like, because I know the power of words and information as a coach and you know, just being in self-development. And this message came to me in that moment, and it just said, Jimmy, this has served you. It no longer does. And it was such a beautiful message. It was like it's time to let it go. And so I did. And in that process, it was kind of funny because Ben, like, it was so easy for me to motivate myself to go to work. Like as a realtor, I never missed a day. I made my calls every single day. Like I was a machine. I mean, I remember one time my coach Stephen said to me, He said, Dude, I've coached thousands of people. You're the only one I've never had to motivate. Like I've never once needed to worry if you were gonna get up and do your job. And I didn't realize how rare that was, right? Even now, people said to me, like, I don't know how you work the way you do. But it's like that burn was so deep, and I was, I so needed to heal that wound and that boy. And so um, once I let that go, it was interesting because it actually uh took me a little bit to find a new burn. And uh it became harder to get up and make my calls every day. Like all of a sudden, I was just like, you know what? I feel good. Like I'm good, I got money in the bank, I got dozens of investment homes, like my life's good. And it did get harder, and and I started taking a lot more time off. And I will say, you know, it was it was in a in a healthy way. Um, but then I, you know, had to find those new ways to motivate myself. And it was cool because I started to be able to come out of love. And it was like, how can I help people with these things? You know, it's be the hero of your own story, you're most qualified to help the person that used to be. All those things were so true to me. I was like, okay, I've got this information now. How do I help others to experience this? And it led me into what I get to do now, which is my impact. You know, being a realtor is actually a beautiful career. I mean, your job is to become friends with as many people as you can and then just be a badass and deal negotiation. But what I get to do now has just been so life-changing is helping so many of these men connect and find themselves and find friends that are deeper than anything they ever imagined, you know? And so for me, it really is the gift of a life that I was able to work through this. And my new burn is a much, I will say, probably healthier way of going about it, but it comes from love instead of fear of not being loved.

SPEAKER_03: 8:46

All the success, all the lessons, all the investment you've put in. What is that lesson that you feel needs to be heard? That one lesson, like when you think about it, it fires you up, it energizes you, and you love sharing it with others. What's that final lesson, those words that you'd love to share with our audience?

SPEAKER_02: 9:06

There are so many messages that I could share here. I'll share one that I just really love. It comes um, because there's one that really motivated me when uh times got tough in real estate. And it's funny where inspiration comes from sometimes. It's from the movie A League of Their Own. It's a movie about a girls baseball team. Tom Hanks plays this character, right? Jimmy Dugan. And the key, the the main player on the team is Gina Davis's character. And halfway through the season, she's the she's the MVP of the league. She just is packing up and she's leaving. And Jimmy Dugan goes over there and he's like, What are you doing? Like, why are what are you doing? Like you're the star of the team. And she said, You know, it just got to be too hard. And he looks at her and he says, It's supposed to be hard. The hard is what makes it great. And I just love that, man, because like every good thing that's come in my life was so difficult to achieve, was so difficult to get there. All of the best parts of life, the things you share on podcasts, the things you share on, you know, from the stage and all those things, it's the hard stuff. And so, you know, one of my best buddies he says, screw easy. Who wants easy? And at the end of the day, you're not making your heart, your life harder than it needs to be, but constantly being obsessed with becoming a better version of yourself means facing those demons and slaying those dragons and just knowing that it's going to be hard. And I've gotten to a point, Ben, where in the middle of the hard thing, I'm appreciating it now. There's no bad days because in the middle of it, I'm like, this is so good. Like, I'm growing so much right now. This is a ridiculous lesson to have to get right now. And uh, but you can appreciate it then. And then all of a sudden, life is just this beautiful mess and it's an opportunity. And so that's my best message I can leave your audience with.

SPEAKER_03: 10:39

Take me back to the courage that it took starting a business then and those little decisions that you would make to do the things that were uncomfortable, which led to us meeting.

SPEAKER_00: 10:50

Well, in that moment, you know, I don't remember specifically why I went into my managing partner's office at the time and said, Hey, can I go pick this guy up at the airport? Um, you know, flying into the city of brotherly love is not that welcoming. So I always thought, well, if we're gonna fly in these speakers, why wouldn't I go pick them up? And then I would get some one-on-one time. And then I would always get invited to the events that were being hosted for that speaker. So the courage for me was more practical at that moment of, well, this is happening, why why don't I take this opportunity to meet this guy? Um and I remember you getting in my car and instantly I knew I'm like, oh boy, this is this relationship is probably gonna change my life. And, you know, we shook hands that evening, and we made a bet watching a basketball game that night about MDRT. And it was so neat to follow through on that bed and fly to St. Louis and take you and Amy out to dinner and follow through on that. So these were just moments and times where for me personally, at that phase of my life, I almost felt like I had to back myself into corners and fight my way out to succeed because fear was a big part of my life, and I wanted to be so successful and overcome that fear.

SPEAKER_03: 12:10

Which is uh, you know, we hit it off right away. I know uh you and Shannon hit it off uh right away. And uh no surprise that uh you and I both being hard-charging individuals, and I've always loved that about you the fight, no fear, you know, things that come from childhood, but deciding to persevere and just I'm gonna fight and make it happen. Shannon, I've always seen the same in you, which probably explains why you guys now have a beautiful family, and uh you've literally taken on the world together, which we'll get into, even from a parenting standpoint. You guys have done the uncomfortable and been courageous and created amazing experiences for your family. But what has it been for you? Why have you been so courageous? What has caused you to do the things, or what was the burn for you that caused you to always do, I would almost say the the not the normal path?

SPEAKER_01: 13:03

Yeah, you know, it's so funny. I I didn't always know what it was, you know, and I was that person I graduated college early because I was like, I gotta go make money. You know, there was just this belief of like, I'll get to a point where I will, I will make it, you know, I'll get to this place where I will I'll do the thing and I'll feel like I succeeded, you know, and it was this drive to like want to get to that point. Um and I think it was definitely the people I was hanging out with and seeing, you know, their drive and their motivation. But um I don't know, I think there was something that shifted for me later in life and really becoming a mom that connected me to something that was actually more of a burn, you know, and I think um it was like more depth to it of not just wanting to get to the thing, but wanting to live a life that had meaning to it, you know, that I could I could feel like there was purpose and I could feel like there was, you know, really intention in the work that I was doing. So I would say, you know, my early 20s, there was just this want to find success, want to be in the professional world, want to be taken seriously, you know, like just want to thrive in business. Um, but I would say becoming a mom shifted that and connected with me to a depth of my why that I didn't realize existed before that.

SPEAKER_03: 14:22

What was the greatest lesson you learned as as a family and and life lesson?

SPEAKER_01: 14:27

I I think for me, one of the main things that I look back on is we went for five months and we lived out of one suitcase each. Like it's it it it just created this space where you realize how much you don't need in order to to live and to thrive. And you go to these these places where it's about being together and it's about being outside and it's about being a family. And for me, it was just such a reminder that sometimes I think in the world we think we need all this stuff. Like we think we need all these things, and our kids have to be like in all these sports or in all these organized things, which are wonderful. And for this moment in time, for five months, for us to say we're gonna disconnect from all of it. There's no Amazon, you know, there's no packages getting delivered to, you know, wherever we are off the dirt roads in Costa Rica. But not only did we just survive the situation, like it was such a beautiful experience for us to see like what we are capable of doing.

SPEAKER_03: 15:23

So um I think that was what was really special for me is just the simplicity of all of it, just to really let go of everything that you think defines who you are and just be tell us about the seed in your mind where you said, okay, here's an idea where we could teach people to slow down, we could teach people to have gratitude, we could teach people to put pen to paper. Take us back to that moment where you looked at each other and said, We're going for this. Where Matt, you said, I'm out, we're retiring. Shannon, I'm not going back to a corporate setting. Because I know, Shannon, you are so driven and you were successful in your own right, and you could have gone back and taken a corporate job. And you guys said, No, we're doing it our way again. Who wants to start with uh with how this plays out?

SPEAKER_01: 16:09

Yeah. So this whole everything about the business, everything about the motion of gratitude was born out of personal need. Like it's it's all from personal experience. Uh this started in 2018 with uh at the time I was home with we only had our two girls at the time. We didn't have our son, and you know, I I was just at a point in my life where our second, she took a little bit of time to settle into the world. Um she she was had deep emotions, and you know, mom was the only one that could comfort her. She didn't take a bottle, she, you know, whenever she needed anything, it was it she needed me. Um, and as a mom, it's one of the most special places to be, and it can be one of the most intense places if you don't understand how to take care of yourself. And uh for myself at the time, I I didn't understand the value of slowing down. Um and I thought that this is something I could just run through like I ran through everything else, you know. Um, and it was really through that time with Quinn where you know Matt came home from work one day and I was knee deep in everything that was going wrong, right? It's like he had a long day, and there was just this space of kind of dumping on him all the things that didn't go right. And you know, Matt with like his heart of gold, he looks at me and he's like, Shannon, you're gonna have to be a little bit more grateful. And it's like, what? Like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00: 17:37

I didn't sleep on the couch that night for the record.

SPEAKER_03: 17:39

You know you were damn close though.

SPEAKER_00: 17:41

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 17:43

It was like, how how is that the word? You know, like why is that the word that Matt chose? And you know, it's it's stuck with me. And as as I worked through the anger and kind of the frustration of it all, it it literally got to a point where I was like, he is he's right. Like I have I dreamed of this moment of being home with my babies. I dreamed of this this house, this us being married, the healthy kids, you know, like there's so many things that I dreamed of that I was missing. They were still happening all around me, but in that moment, the the deep intensity was taking over. Um, so it became very clear that I knew that I didn't want to go back to work at that time. I wanted to be home. I wanted to raise my kids. Um, and through that, I knew that I had to do something different. And the choice that I made was I was gonna get really intentional with my gratitude practice. Um and it was literally through the intentional practice of waking up and you know, focusing on my gratitude. It was a matter of days, maybe weeks, where the things that were making me cry two weeks before were now making me laugh because I was like, oh my gosh, like there's so much beauty still here, and just the shift in perspective. And you know, I it just became one of those things. The more that I got into the gratitude, and the more I dove into being present and mindfulness and what that actually is, um, it made me realize that gratitude is talked about a lot, but we're not encouraged how to feel it all of the time. Um, so it was through my experience where I learned to feel it in a depth that I hadn't before, that uh it was like, yeah, there's something here. And so that kind of became the beginning of it. I kind of looked back at the experience and started to share it with Matt, started to share it with other people. And you know, as Matt started to really come into the space, it's like we know that we can support people on this part of their journey, right? There is such incredible resources in different areas that people can be supported, and it's how can we support them from this space and kind of meet them where they are. You know, I was a I was a stay-at-home mom who wasn't looking for a coach at the time because what do you coach somebody towards, right? But but there were things that we were able to explore, and you know, from there it just became a lifestyle. It became how we raise our kids, how we show up in the world, uh, you know, the RV life in Costa Rica. It just literally brought us to this place of this is how we want to live every day. And it's not that every day is filled with sunshine, sun, sunshine and happy things, but it's it's choosing to intentionally focus on what is continuing to go right, even when there's some big parts of life that might not be going the way that we want them to.

SPEAKER_03: 20:21

You know, one of my favorite words is intentional, and you've used it a few times in your answer. Matt, if you could help us better understand just some of the intentional components when people step into the concept of gratitude with you, from the beautiful gift boxes that you'll send to the matching bracelets that you both have on your wrists, to the journaling of the motion of gratitude. Help us understand why you've been so intentional in helping people connect to the importance of gratitude and how you go about doing that through the process of you know what you've coined as the term gratosis.

SPEAKER_00: 20:59

Well, and I wanted to kind of take a step back also in the history here. So, like the firm that we were working at when this was all happening was investing so much money into me on a day-to-day basis, right? We were I was being groomed to be in this leadership roll. And I think we take that for granted when we're working for these big corporations. So what I was as I was evolving and seeing what Shannon was not receiving, that was teaching me what I needed to do. Um and it inspired me to share with others who don't have all of those resources breathed into them on a daily basis. Um and the evolution of getting to this point of this intentionality around gratitude, and like our tagline is feel the impact. Um and feel the impact of an intentional gratitude practice. That to your point, that word is critical. Um and the evolution of me leaving the financial services business and getting to this moment was I was I was obsessing on a daily basis around the paradoxes of life of watching clients sacrificing their lives in the pursuit of capital. I would help them retire, and inevitably something would happen where they wouldn't be happy. And that paradox started to drive me insane. So transitioning to this world where every day you feel the impact of intentional gratitude, and everything that you do is uh a trigger or an anchor. So, like the bracelets, it's an anchor, it anchors me into a moment where if my son or daughter is doing something that is triggering me, I remember it's all about remembering that I get to be a father in this moment. And yes, this moment right here is hard, but so many men around the world would either one crave to have a relationship with their father or two to be a father in the first place. So the intensity of that, and and I'm an intense person, that's who I've always been. Um so as Shannon was building out these products and the box and the color schemes and the logo, everything behind the brand of the motion of gratitude is designed to help you remember that this is all a miracle. Like this this whole thing. Um, and and that's where every morning I wake up, I wish myself happy birthday, I meditate, I journal, and I read my vision. It has to happen.

SPEAKER_03: 23:39

Why was it so important for you to slow down and get this message out and to get the book out and to get your story out?

SPEAKER_00: 23:49

That's a big question. Well, um, before I start there, one, I know how to get the money out of your ATM, because your password is probably.

SPEAKER_03: 23:57

Um But come and try to get that card from me.

SPEAKER_00: 24:01

Yeah, I'm not messing with that. Um I did wake up at 4 44 to go to my hot yoga today. Um so the book, you know, I grew up in a certain setting and I didn't have access to a lot. So what motivated me primarily as a young professional was things, uh materialism. And at the time I didn't call it that. I called it a reward system. Um the nice watches, the nice, the nice cars, the beautiful house. Um so the beginning of that book is all of the paradoxes that I had to explore in my 20s and early 30s. And fortunately, I had a an event in my life that allowed us to really take a step back and breathe financially. Um and in that moment, probably about three months after that transition happened in my life, everything felt backwards. Like I didn't want to put the nice suits on because I didn't care anymore. I I didn't put the nice watch on because I didn't I was doing that for other people to impress them or to press upon them that I had earned the right to manage their money. Um so the first part of that book is all the things that I hope is maybe a shortcut for people to not say it's it's great to have nice things, but that I had taken it to a different level. Those nice things is all I thought about. Um and then I went through the journey of being a father, and I thought now I have all these nice things, but no matter how nice of a thing I have, if I don't learn to to level up as a human, I'm not gonna be able to hold space for my kids. So that was eye-opening. And ultimately this led to the middle of the book, which is a journey that I took in Costa Rica, which Aaron Rodgers has taken, which many professional people have taken, and and I went on that journey in Costa Rica, and most people do not publish their notes. But I I I wanted to. I wanted to share my heart with people to understand the complexity of the human psyche and the beauty. It's it's amazing. And then the end of the book, I felt I need to teach in a way of like how to integrate all this new information into your life and do it in a practical way. And so many people go on the spiritual journey and end up broke and single. I and I don't like it. I I wanted to change the paradigm. So I wanted to go on the spiritual journey and end up married and living in abundance. And I I felt compelled to write the book as part of my healing journey, to be honest. When we were in Costa Rica, I mean, yes, it was a beautiful place to live, but in the same way that a caterpillar turns to mush before it turns to a butterfly, part of writing that book was my mush. And putting it on that paper cleared it. And and I get text messages once a week of someone multiple times a week of just like, thank you for writing that. I wish I would have I wish I would have read that 20 years ago. And that little nod ke allows me to keep going. So the book is a a self-fulfilling positive loop to help me to stay on track.