Jimmy Rex, Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth
Feb 26, 2024Season 6Episode 8
Ben Newman
In this episode of The Burn, join host Ben Newman as he interviews special guest Jimmy Rex, bestselling author and coach, about his journey from real estate success to coaching and personal development. In this episode, we cover: - Jimmy's transition from real estate success to coaching and the underlying motivation behind it. - The powerful lesson Jimmy learned from a conversation with Ed Mylett that inspired his latest book, "Be One." - The impactful story of Jimmy's baseball career and the burn that drove him to success. - The importance of investing in personal development and continuous improvement, as exemplified by Jimmy's dedication to coaching and mentorship. - Jimmy's final lesson: facing the hard stuff in life and why it's worth it.
00:00 Interview series focuses on driven, purposeful individuals. 03:29 Discovering passion in dream job through coaching. 09:30 Seeking validation led to personal and professional success. 12:45 Embracing authenticity and continuous personal development. 15:58 Changing perspective, importance of personal growth, relationships. 17:23 Relationships and coaching brought strength and connections. 20:04 Book helps men navigate modern masculinity challenges. 23:28 Excited to continue growing together, stay connected.
Need help with recruiting or workforce solutions for your organization? Free Consulting Session for Spark Companies: https://www.bennewman.net/spark
In this episode of The Burn, join host Ben Newman as he interviews special guest Jimmy Rex, bestselling author and coach, about his journey from real estate success to coaching and personal development. In this episode, we cover: - Jimmy's transition from real estate success to coaching and the underlying motivation behind it. - The powerful lesson Jimmy learned from a conversation with Ed Mylett that inspired his latest book, "Be One." - The impactful story of Jimmy's baseball career and the burn that drove him to success. - The importance of investing in personal development and continuous improvement, as exemplified by Jimmy's dedication to coaching and mentorship. - Jimmy's final lesson: facing the hard stuff in life and why it's worth it.
00:00 Interview series focuses on driven, purposeful individuals. 03:29 Discovering passion in dream job through coaching. 09:30 Seeking validation led to personal and professional success. 12:45 Embracing authenticity and continuous personal development. 15:58 Changing perspective, importance of personal growth, relationships. 17:23 Relationships and coaching brought strength and connections. 20:04 Book helps men navigate modern masculinity challenges. 23:28 Excited to continue growing together, stay connected.
Need help with recruiting or workforce solutions for your organization? Free Consulting Session for Spark Companies: https://www.bennewman.net/spark
People were reaching out about one of two things. They said where do I find friends like you have? And I feel like I'm stuck in life. How do I get out of this spot, like I want to live a more you know, a more fulfilling life. I know exactly how to help men connect on a deeper level. It immediately I went from feeling like an imposter, like who am I to coach other people, to oh, I'm the guy to do this. I know exactly how to do this.
Speaker 3:
Welcome back to another episode of the Burn. I am Ben Newman and you know how we do this every single week we're going to bring you a story of an athlete, an entertainer, a celebrity, an entrepreneur, somebody who is recognized in their life. That why and purpose is not enough. There's this underlying burn that ignites your why and your purpose and causes you to show up on the days that you don't feel like it, and especially after you win. This week, we are bringing you a special guest, my new friend but it seems like we've been friends forever Jimmy Rex and Jimmy and I met for the first time in person although it should have happened years ago at a mastermind with Irwin McManus, and I knew that Jimmy was doing big things. So what did I mention here? Entrepreneurs, celebrities, athletes Jimmy's like all of those things right Comedian, best-selling author.
Speaker 3:
He's got. We Are the they, which is one of the top men's coaching groups in the world today. The events that he puts on are incredible and I don't mind saying it. People could say, like Ben, don't you three events that do coaching? Yes, but he is so damn good. I want you guys to know he's amazing. He does things for the right reasons and that's why I'm fired up to have my new friend, although it still feels like an old, old friend. Jimmy Rex, welcome to the burn.
Speaker 1:
Dude, I appreciate it, man. That's quite the introduction there. I don't know about the athlete part, but the rest of it I'll take, and so I'm gonna make sure you introduce me every time I get on a podcast.
Speaker 3:
Hey, let me tell you the athlete part we are gonna talk about, because I recently did learn a little story about you and your burn. But let me set the table here first. We had many people and I just I really want to lean in and grab everybody's attention, maybe more than I normally ask for it. So Jimmy and I have the opportunity. We both throw events, we both do coaching, which means we're exposed to a lot when it comes to this world. And when I had the opportunity to meet Jimmy at Rosewood, mayakoba, at Irwin's Mastermind, and literally people are saying, oh, you gotta meet Jimmy, you gotta meet Jimmy, you gotta meet Jimmy.
Speaker 3:
Like when I met him, I just knew instantly the authenticity, because you come from a world where you were at one point, number one in the state of Utah for real estate. It's almost like everything that you've done in the past, you've always done incredibly well with it. I mean, I've talked about making millions upon millions revenue and money that you can't spend unless you have some serious issues, and so this massive success. And then you pivot to coaching and I knew instantly I'm like this is a man who's driven by purpose. This is a man who's got some deep understanding of who he is and why he does things. So that's why I'm excited. Enough from me, jimmy Rex. Help us understand. How does somebody go from making millions of dollars in real estate to saying you know what I just want to serve?
Speaker 1:
I'm going into coaching. Yeah, no, it's a story we're telling Ben because it's important that people know that this is something that took a long time for me to figure out what was going to be next, but it looked like it happened immediately because I've had a lot of my friends since I did this. I've had a lot of my friends and people near me that be like, dude, I need to find my passion, I need to find my thing because they can tell that I'm just. I feel like I'm in my dream job now, like I get the opportunity. I'm coaching you know almost 400 men and it's really is life changing. It texts multiple times a day from these men of how it's changed their lives.
Speaker 1:
And what happened was about four and a half years ago. I sold the most expensive house ever in Utah. I was crushing real estate. I became the number one agent in the state that year. It was a 32 and a half million dollar house, which in Utah, buys you like two mountains right, and I made almost seven figures in like 20 minutes and it just wasn't that fulfilling. I'd already been making a couple of million a year doing real estate. My team would sell three to 500 houses a year. I mean, we were crushing it and I'd been on cruise control for quite a while and about that same time and this is probably where the burn came for me there was a realtor that died.
Speaker 1:
He ran a very similar business to what I did and he got shot collecting rent at a fourplex and literally rolled him in a carpet and stuffed him in the attic. And when the story broke on the news, every single article and every single's news story was like realtor dies, realtor, this realtor. So this guy had seven kids. He was an amazing human. But I remember thinking to myself, ben, I was like if I died tomorrow and all the news talked about was me as a realtor, I was like I just would be sad about that. Like realtor was an amazing career for me, but I was like I have so many connections, I have so much network, I have so much knowledge and things that I've been able to pick up from these amazing people in my life. I was like I need to do something that's more impactful, and it was a burn that I could not put out.
Speaker 1:
From that day forward, I became obsessed with figuring out what that was going to be, and so I spent a lot of time, a lot of coaches, a lot of meditation, a lot of figuring out what was going to be next. And I leaned into this thought and I just I started to pay attention. Like what do people reach out to me for? And I had another book that had come out called you End Up when You're Heading the Hidden Dangers of Living a Safe Life, and it really talks about in that book I'd started going, I'd been to over a hundred countries and I've done all these crazy adventures run with the bulls in Spain and swim with tiger sharks and all these different crazy things you can go do. And so people were reaching out about one of two things they said where do I find friends like you have?
Speaker 1:
And I feel like I'm stuck in life. How do I get out of this spot? Like I want to live a more, you know, a more fulfilling life. I know exactly how to help men connect on a deeper level, and so it. Immediately I went from feeling like an imposter, like who am I to coach other people, to oh, I'm the guy to do this, I know exactly how to do this. So I just took all this information I'd learned and I became obsessed with the idea of creating the best experience for men to go deep and to create deep, lasting connection, and that's how I came up with we Are the Day. I love it.
Speaker 2:
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Speaker 3:
Which now allows you to transition and really serve, which I know is your burn, which we're gonna talk about, but I wanna go back To a different burn that you had when you were an athlete. So, even though athletics takes us all to different levels of athletics and it might not have been professional for you and I, but tell us about your burn that you discovered through a recent conversation you and I had. I think it is so powerful hearing this because, as people have heard, it comes in so many different formats. You've heard so many different stories, but this is very powerful.
Speaker 1:
Yeah. So when I was a kid long story short my brother, matt, was the two-time state MVP, won the state championship a couple times and my dad got a lot of significance from that. I got a lot of attention from that and he kind of wanted to recreate that with me. But I wasn't as good at baseball as my brother was. I knew this. I was, you know, like an eight hole hitter on it on a very good baseball team.
Speaker 1:
But my dad had this idea. He'd seen some other guys around the state do this, that To get held back at your eighth grades the last year. You can do it and if you do that you're just that much better because you're a year older. And he thought if I got held back I could be a star player and really, you know, really be something. And a long story short. He put a lot of pressure on me. He offered me a free truck. He had my brother's talking to me who I looked up to. He, you know, offered me some cash and Ultimately I remember one day we're sitting in the driveway and he said, hey, you got to make a decision if you're gonna get held back or not, and I was already one of the oldest kids in the school I had. You know I was one of the smarter kids, to be honest. I had good friends. I had a girl. I had a crush on my age. You know all the reasons that knock it held back and I just didn't want to do it. And thankfully I was a stubborn little shit. I said, dad, I don't want it, I'm not gonna do it. And he looked me in the eyes and he said well, just so you know, you're not good enough, you'll never play baseball again. And All I heard was you're not good enough. And so that became my mantra I'm like, I'll show him. So I, literally I had my baseball hat. I ended up making the team a sophomore year and every year there after I would write on the bill of my hat You're not good enough. Now, at the time, I was motivating myself. What I didn't realize is the power of words and affirmations and like once I, as an adult, I saw my hat and I was like, oh my gosh, what have I done to myself? Like this self talk of like you're not good enough. You know, I drove that home into my subconscious and literally for three years straight I could see it 24-7 on my hat and and it did it, you know, and it was a very deep burn and driving force and I became obsessed with, you know, proving that I was good enough, proving to my father and everybody else. And so I became a great baseball player, you know. I went on a mission for my church and became the highest baptizing missionary.
Speaker 1:
I got home and I started in real estate, had to be the number one realtor, but you know where it really screwed me up was in areas like dating, always trying to show everybody I was, you know, look at me, I'm and God bless me. I was just like what really I was saying was I promise I'm good enough to think to love, right, like, please, love me. What it came off was was like look at this new trip I'm going on. Look at this hot girl I'm going out with. Look at this amazing, you know, group of friends that I have that are all beautiful or whatever it might have been. And so I'm sure, like people were seeing us from the outside and you know we're just like dude. Why is this guy always trying to like show how cool his life is or whatever? And inside I was just screaming to like I promise I'm worthy of getting to love.
Speaker 1:
But that burn really did drive me and it caused me to be. You know, I ended up becoming the number one real estate agent the entire state of Utah. I was selling hundreds of homes a year, making millions of dollars and doing a lot of other cool things too. It caused me to be a great uncle and, you know, a great friend. I did date a lot of beautiful women, all these different things.
Speaker 1:
So one day I was doing a. You know, I was with some friends and I saw my hat. I hadn't thought of this hat in 17, 18 years and you know this was about five years ago. I saw my hat and I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, what have I done? Like I realized as soon as I saw the words on my hat. I was like, because I know the power of words and after which is a coach and you know, just being in self development, and this message came to me in that moment and it just said Jimmy, this has served you, it no longer does. It was such a beautiful message. It was like it's time to let it go and so I did.
Speaker 1:
And in that process it was kind of funny because, Ben, like it was so easy for me to motivate myself to go to work, like as a realtor, I never missed a day. I made my calls every single day like I was A machine. And I remember one of my coach even said to me he said, dude, I've coached thousands of people. You're the only one I've never had to motivate, like I've never once needed to worry if you were going to get up and do your job. And I didn't realize how rare that was right. Even now people said, yeah, how you work, the way you do, but it's like that burn was so deep and I was so needed to kill that wound in that boy and so Once I let that go, it was interesting because it actually took me a little bit to find a new bird and I became harder to get up and make my calls every day.
Speaker 1:
Like all of a sudden I was like you know what I feel good, like I'm good, I got money in the bank, I got dozens of investment homes, like life's good. And it did get harder and I started taking a lot more time off and I will say, you know, it was in a healthy way. But then I, you know, had to find those new ways to motivate myself, and it was cool because I started to be able to come out of love, and it was like, how can I help people with these things? You know, it's be the hero of your own story. You're most qualified to help the person. That used to be all those things. We're so true to me.
Speaker 1:
I was like, okay, I've got this information. Now how do I help others to experience this? And it led me into what I get to do now, which is my impact. You know, being a realtor is actually a beautiful career. I mean, your job is to become friends with as many people as you can and then just be a bad ass deal negotiation. But what I get to do now is just been so life changing, is helping so many of these men connect and find themselves and find friends that Are deeper than anything they ever imagine, you know. And so for me, it really is the gift of a life that I was able to work through this, and my new burn is Is a much, I will say, probably healthier way of going about it, but it comes from love instead of fear of not being loved.
Speaker 3:
And what I, what I find just be beautiful about your story, and it's the authenticity, the vulnerability that people are hearing, but also you continuing to work on you being your best self, even though you've identified these gifts to serve and help Other individuals find that within themselves. And I think about you and I. People are really listening to the story. They're probably going well. Why are the two of them in a mastermind? They both have these wildly successful coaching businesses impacting people like what do you mean? They're in a mastermind with you and I. Both invest well over six figures into our own personal development. Multiple coaches, masterminds, mentors. I think we both believe in having this never finished mindset. Why is that so important to?
Speaker 1:
you. Yes, a couple reasons is number one I am I'm obsessed with becoming the best version of myself, like why do we do the thing? Because we can, you know, because we should like If you can be better than you, should try to be better. And I think that I just have this unquenchable there's to be the best version of myself, and I get lessons in ways. Sometimes I'm like, damn, I can.
Speaker 1:
I just, you know, take it easy sometimes, but also, you know, being a coach, like I'm never gonna tell somebody to do something I don't know how to do, and so for me, I started getting into this coaching and there were some things I realized I'm like man, I've never been married. I actually don't know the experience of how to help people connect more in a relationship level. So last year I heard three relationship coaches and I went deep and here's the reason why I still do it, ben, like I felt like I'd worked through the trauma with my dad and some different things from my youth and stuff like that, and I hired the top in my opinion, the top relationship coach in the country. This guy named Stefanos and I seeked him out, saw his materials, like man, this guy gets it. So I went. I was like I got some things to learn from this guy and I hired him. Our first coaching session he asked me one question that changed everything for me. Next thing, I know I'm balling my eyes out and I'm looking at my entire life a different way. I'm looking at relationships in a new way. I'm looking at life in a new way.
Speaker 1:
And so by doing these things and becoming obsessed with it, what I did like I went to a Tony Robbins. I signed up for his Platinum coaching program just to go to his week long relationship course in Maui. Like I think Tony's the go. That dude is hacked life. Like he understands the human psychology better than the human ever. So I said I'm going to go learn from him and I'm taking three sets of notes while I'm at his seminar. Right, I'm taking notes for myself, the better my relationships. I'm taking notes to what to share with my team or my guys that I coach. And then I'm taking notes on how to throw a badass event. Like I'm literally like learning three different ways at once.
Speaker 1:
And it was expensive. I missed six figures to go to that, you know. But I learned some skills and some things. I've been able to use it with my guys now that I coach and I just I never want to feel like an imposter. You know, and you know, our mutual friend Ed my friend Ed talks about this all the time is like the best coaches model after things they've already seen that work. You're not copying it, but you're modeling it so I'm able to put it into my own form or my own way of learning and teaching. But I'm just using things that are.
Speaker 1:
You know, when you hear truth, it's truth and so like for me, I can now, with confidence, coach about relationships and it's kind of funny because by going to that and again looking at relationships completely different, I then within a month, ended up getting a girlfriend who I'm with right now. And so it just, you just change the way you look at certain things right and like, for example, that event and I know I'm kind of a long answer here, but this is why it's so important to me. I was there for a week and I spent six figures and if I got nothing else out of the entire thing, it's the one screw you didn't know you need to turn right. It's the 5% that you need to improve. But there was one thing I learned, and I don't know why my mind thought this way before, ben, but I mean I've I've just killed so many relationships way before I probably should have. But I always thought you had to find your person. You guys just connected and it was this amazing relationship.
Speaker 1:
And it wasn't till that seminar out in Maui that I realized that no, like the best relationships, it's like my job. I feel like I have my dream job. It's never been harder. I've never worked harder on it. I've never had to learn more in it. But because of that I love what I get to do.
Speaker 1:
I always thought relationships you just find that person. But it's not. You love that person so deeply because you work so hard to make it great, like it is going to have a lot of problems and in working through those you get the depth, you get the real juice of that relationship in it. For whatever reason, I needed to go to Maui and and go to that event for a week to figure out that, jimmy, you're not going to find the perfect person, you're going to build the perfect relationship.
Speaker 1:
And so that one thing for me changed my entire view on dating and who I'm looking for and how to be in a relationship Like even the one I'm in right now, I probably would have dropped out three or four times.
Speaker 1:
If it was a year ago I would have, because I'd have been like, oh, this thing's not right.
Speaker 1:
I would have just been like, yeah, I guess it's not my person, when, in reality, you just work through that and then you get that much stronger and so, anyway, that's why I am obsessed with doing coaching. By the way, like I just love to be around people that are thinking the same way I do. Like we went to the event in in Cancun and the timing of it was horrible for me, if I'm being honest, I was gone for like 14 days straight, but I knew I would connect with somebody there that might change my life. And, sure enough, like I meet you and you know, I don't know where this ends up friendship in 10 years from now but I damn well know we're going to be in each other's lives one way or another, and so you just never know who you're going to meet. And I want to be around people that are also trying to better themselves every day, that are also working to improve the lives of other people, and in going to those things. Those are the kinds of people you meet.
Speaker 3:
This is why I'm excited to share the final piece of this burn episode. I want everybody to think about just everything that we've shared so far in this episode. So we've talked about Jimmy's burn. We've talked about Jimmy's success. We've talked about his belief in pouring and serving into others. We've talked about his belief in coaching it. Those are the types of stories and lives where I say I want to read the book and and you got another one coming out, and I don't know about you, but you know, every time I write a new book, I'm like man, that was better than the last one and so be one is releasing.
Speaker 3:
It is available. We're gonna make it super easy for everybody in the in the notes of the show, april the second. It's available on Amazon right now for pre-order. Our dear friend Ed Milet wrote an amazing Forward for the book. There's so much power and energy. That's in the book from your life, your stories, your experience, your research. Essentially, what did he just say? He spent hundreds of thousands of dollars going to Tony Robbins conventions to figure out the code for you to attack at the next level and all you got to do is go by his book. You don't have to go to Tony Robbins event. So be one. Tell us about the book. Why are you excited about it? And I'm just so excited for you for this new release.
Speaker 1:
No, I appreciate it. You know I was originally writing a different book and I was talking to with Ed Milet, who ended up writing the Ford, like you said, and he said, jimmy, he said why we have to bring this coaching program. What you're doing, like you're, you're actually teaching men how to be live it a healthy way in. What we now have is very toxic times, and so the book is called be when it comes from the Marcus Aurelius quote, which is waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be, be one, and the subtitle is how to be a healthy man in Toxic times, and it's really a roadmap to just help men of it's really difficult to be a man these days Like there's. You know, over 50% of single men 18 to 30 have not approached a woman in person in the last year. To give you an idea, like some stats of some different say that again repeat that statistic over 50% of single men 18 to 30 have not approached a woman in person In over a year. I mean, it's like it's. It's just a really hard place to be for men right now.
Speaker 1:
There are a lot of messages from society that aren't accurate, and so my book goes through really all different aspects of life, everything from your romantic relationship to your mindset, to your health, to leadership and all the above and I go through with a lot of my own personal experiences and just things that I've learned over the years and we break down these different exercises and help teach you how to be a healthy, masculine man in today's society, what that is and what it isn't.
Speaker 1:
There's also a section in there for women to help find a man if they're looking in for how to raise one too. I have a youth program that we run called our next gen program, and you know we it's just. It's a book that you know Ed said this the other day on my podcast. He said it's a book that very rarely came along at the exact perfect time that society needs it and that's why everybody should read it and that's the best endorsement I can give on it. But I'm super pumped for people to read it because I do think it will change their lives.
Speaker 3:
Well, we're going to make it easy for everybody to understand how to get a copy. I recommend the book to everybody. Jimmy, you are a force for good in this world. I'm so grateful, and you know it's interesting. We probably needed to wait all that time because, like the energy that was there when we met was incredible, just like I'm sure people are feeling at this episode today. I would like for you to finish this episode for us with all the success, all the lessons, all the investment you've put in. What is that lesson that you feel needs to be heard? That one lesson, like when you think about it, it fires you up, it energizes you and you love sharing it with others. What's that final lesson, those words that you'd love to share with our audience?
Speaker 1:
There's so many messages that I could share here. I'll share one that I just really love. It comes because this is one that really motivated me when time's got tough in real estate and it's funny where inspiration comes from sometimes. It's from the movie A League of the Roan. It's a movie about a girl's baseball team. Tom Hanks plays this character right, Jimmy Dugan, and the key, the main player on the team is Jean and Davis, his character, and halfway through the season she's the MVP of the league. She just is packing up and she's leaving and Jimmy Dugan goes over there and he's like what?
Speaker 2:
are you doing?
Speaker 1:
Like why are you doing Like you're the star of the team? And she said you know, it just got to be too hard. And he looks at her and he says it's supposed to be hard. The hard is what makes it great. And I just love that man because, like, every good thing that's come in my life was so difficult to achieve, was so difficult to get there.
Speaker 1:
All of the best parts of life, the things you share on podcasts, the things you share on you know from the stage, and all those things, it's the hard stuff. And so you know one of my best buddies who says screw easy, who wants easy. And at the end of the day you're not making your life harder than it needs to be. But constantly being obsessed with becoming a better version of yourself means facing those demons and slaying those dragons and just knowing that it's going to be hard. And I've gotten to a point, then, where in the middle of the hard thing, I'm appreciating it. Now there's no bad days because in the middle of it I'm like this is so good, like I am growing so much right now. This is a ridiculous lesson to have to get right now and but you can appreciate it then. And then, all of a sudden, life is just this beautiful mess and it's an opportunity, and so that's my best message I can leave your audience with.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I love it. I appreciate you. I look forward to the opportunity to continue to sharpen iron together and we're going to make it super easy for everybody to stay connected with you. Certainly, all that will go into the call notes, whether it be the book, whether it be websites, whether it be who are the they like, just all of it.
Speaker 3:
We want you all to stay connected with Jimmy because the guests he's bringing on just go check out his show, the Jimmy Rex show, and just look at, like the last five guests that he's had on the show. It's amazing the individuals that he is bringing, how he's serving and how he's showing up. That's why we do the burn every single week, because it's stories like Jimmy's that can help us go that much deeper, to realize that we're never finished, to realize that we have more. But you got to connect to that burn to ignite that why and purpose and cause you to show up on the days you don't feel like it and especially after you win. Make sure to like this episode, make sure to share this episode with somebody needs to hear it who might be struggling right now. I appreciate you all, jimmy, thank you again and we'll see you next week for the burn.