Mel Abraham: Navigating Life's Challenges with Financial Wisdom and Purposeful Living
Jan 29, 2024Season 6Episode 4
Ben Newman
In this episode of The Burn, host Ben Newman talks with Mel Abraham, author, coach, and financial expert. Mel Abraham discusses the lessons he learnt from his father about doing the right thing and his experience of battling cancer. He shines a light on the importance of being present for family above pursuing profit and the necessity of achieving harmony in life. He also shares his perspective on the pandemic's financial struggles and his inspiration for writing his book 'Building Your Money Machine'. Mel speaks passionately about leaving a legacy by living it and making every moment matter.
In this episode of The Burn, host Ben Newman talks with Mel Abraham, author, coach, and financial expert. Mel Abraham discusses the lessons he learnt from his father about doing the right thing and his experience of battling cancer. He shines a light on the importance of being present for family above pursuing profit and the necessity of achieving harmony in life. He also shares his perspective on the pandemic's financial struggles and his inspiration for writing his book 'Building Your Money Machine'. Mel speaks passionately about leaving a legacy by living it and making every moment matter.
I am not perfect. I raised my son as a single dad. He came in one day and he just says Daddy, daddy, I drew a picture of you at school today and I see this picture of me in Blue, felt, a Pen, a stick figure, standing in front of two computer screens and a phone in each year. He didn't need my profits, he needed my presence and balances, two counterweights playing tug-of-war. What we need to do is harmony, and harmony comes from intent.
Speaker 2:
Welcome back to another episode of the Burn. I am Ben Newman and you know how we do this. Every single week we're bringing you a story of an athlete, an entertainer, a celebrity, an author, a coach, somebody who's recognized that why and purpose is not enough. There's this underlying burn and it's this burn that ignites your why and purpose, that causes you to be disciplined on the days that you don't want to do it and especially after you win. Today we have a very special guest, my friend Mel Abraham, and I say special guest and he's become a special friend, and here's why Let me give a little more of an intro than maybe I normally do.
Speaker 2:
Brendan Burchard invites me to come out to speak at one of his growth day events in LA, and if you've never been to one of these events, you probably remember. On the episode with Trent Shelton we talked about it. I mean Brendan comes out with the LA marching band. I mean he's getting out. There's nothing like this energy. But before I saw Brendan go on that stage, I had the opportunity. Backstage, I go to see our dear friend Ed Milette and all of a sudden Mel walks in and Ed makes sure that we connect and we start engaging, and he's like Ben.
Speaker 2:
Mel Abraham is one of the greatest human beings I have ever met, and so he says this about Mel and you could already tell there was just this engaging personality, how much he cared, and since then the personal videos I've received from Mel are opportunity to hop on the phone and get to know each other. It's one of those relationships where I say special, because this man is special and, even though this is a new friendship for us and for many of you, he is well known around the world for his books, his affluent blueprint, everything that he's done in the financial sector as an accountant, changing companies and how they think it's been incredible his career. But I think he's gonna become a special friend to you because he's got a big heart, he's got a passion for life, he's got another new book coming out, so we're gonna talk about that as well. But Mel Abraham, my friend, welcome to the burn.
Speaker 1:
Ben, that is the best introduction I've ever had. Man, thank you so much. It's given me freaking goosebumps. I appreciate you, my friend, so good. And you're right, it's a young friendship, but it's a deep friendship and it'll continue for a long, long time.
Speaker 2:
And I think one of the things that makes it special is I could tell your authenticity and your vulnerability. And you look at your career and I think somebody can say, oh, he's got a book coming out about money and allowing the money that you've worked for to actually work harder for you after you've earned it. And it could just be this money conversation. But, man, I mean, we were talking about your fight with cancer, talking about your passion and one of your greatest victories you've ever had in your life is raising your son. And you went so deep, so fast and I said, man, this is my kind of guy, because I'm the emotional dude who cries when you watch extreme home makeovers, and so for me, I'm like and I don't know if you're like that with everybody or if it was just me, but Mel, there was this attraction power. Where does that come from for you? Where's the burn? Where does this passion for life come from for Mel? Abraham, god, if I went back, to it.
Speaker 1:
I think part of it is my dad. My dad came to I'm the son of an immigrant family. My dad came to the US. He was in a country where they were hunting him down. He was they were gonna hang him in the square changed his name, got fake papers, ended up here at 17 with nothing and he always did. He was smuggling people out to keep them safe and I remember four days before he passed away I asked him. I said I said if they caught you, they were gonna hang you at 17. Why would you do this? I know what I was thinking at 17,. It wasn't that. And he said. He literally as he sat in his wheelchair. He looks at me and he says because it was the right thing to do.
Speaker 1:
Now, all of a sudden, my dad's life made sense to me. My journey made sense to me because he lived that way, always asking what's the right thing to do, how do I leave people better than when I came into their life, and not asking what the sacrifice is. He was this quiet man, he wasn't boisterous, he was a chemical plastics engineer in the aerospace industry. It wasn't anything. But as I look back, this perspective of knowing that each moment matters and that it actually is an opportunity to shift someone's life for the better and that when we look at it that way, I think we start to give reverence to the moments that it deserves.
Speaker 1:
And I have a philosophy that says legacy isn't what we leave behind. It's not. Legacy isn't what we leave for people, legacy is what we leave in people. And when we understand that, then we realize that it isn't about leaving a legacy, it's about living. A legacy and I got that from dad it's just knowing that, even if this was, if our moment together backstage was the only time we met, how do I make it important? How do I make it meaningful, how do I make it impactful? And so I try to be present and I fall down plenty of times, but at the same time, I just know that the moments can be monumental and so is that a mindset that you carried through, not only as a father, but in your work and all relationships and everything that you've done.
Speaker 1:
It is a mindset that I think I tried to carry through. Like I said, I am not perfect and being as I raised my son as a single dad and he reminded me he reminded me really vividly at six years old that I was screwing it up, I was working a lot, I was building stuff. And he came in one day and he just says Daddy, daddy, I drew a picture of you at school today. And all of a sudden I kneel down because he's so excited and I see this picture of me in blue, felt, a pen, a stick figure, standing in front of two computer screens and a phone in each year and at the hands of a six-year-old. I kind of go, oh, shoot.
Speaker 1:
And I think that we all can look at it. I could have easily looked at it and said, hey, kid, I got to keep the roof of our heads, we got to do this. We need the profits so we can do the things we love to do. But he didn't understand that he didn't need my profits. He needed my presence and this idea of work-life balance and all that stuff came to roost with me and said why we can't do balance. Balance is two counterweights playing tug-of-war. What we need to do is harmony, and harmony comes from intent and intentional. So I think from that point is where I started to look at it and say how do I make it happen?
Speaker 3:
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Speaker 1:
And so I try to bring it in the things I do, when I speak, when I have my employees, my teams, all that stuff. But I know I'm not infallible, but I want people to feel important.
Speaker 2:
So you certainly make people feel important. You're certainly very present. Now let me take you to this mindset battling cancer. People face challenge. People face adversity. So you have this life lesson from dad, almost embracing an appreciation for the opportunity that you have and to lead people the right way. You have this deep, profound lesson from your son at six. And adversity struck and I don't know if anybody's ever asked it to you this way. When cancer hits, where did your mind go then? Did that mindset get you through it? Did you have a little bit of a setback? How did you battle that adversity when you got that cancer news?
Speaker 1:
I was in denial. Truth be told that, I found out for certain on a Friday and my wife and I laid around on a Saturday, crying Just all day, just because I was, in my mind, young. I'm not a smoker, not a drinker. No, my family had cancer and my struggle, so the struggle for me, was I was searching in my past to find something or someone to blame. Who did I wrong? Why did I deserve this? Why is this coming after me? And then the bigger thing for me that caused the emotion and the fear was I loved life too much and I wasn't ready to let it go.
Speaker 1:
And at that point that weekend it was still unknown because they literally said right now it looks like a five centimeter tumor. It turned out to be seven and a half centimeters. It was on top of the prostate. So he says we'll go in, we'll have to take it out. We might have to take out the prostate. I can't see the ureter. We might have to put a tube in a bag in and if it's bad you're going to lose your bladder. And I'm like, hold on a second.
Speaker 1:
How did I go from the top of the world to the point of I might have a bag and I was scared and I freaked and I was resentful and I was in a dark, dark place and it was hard and it took a little while for me to try and dust myself off and say I had to get to a point of accepting it and saying, okay, I've been dealt this hand I have. What am I going to do? What's the choice? And the thing that allowed me to get through it was I realized that I was searching for something I did in the past that caused me to get the cancer. And when I shifted that, to start looking at it and saying what if it wasn't because of something I did, but it was for something I'm supposed to do, can I? Now, all of a sudden, the cancer found some meaning and found some value. And then and I said, okay, this is the hand we've been dealt, how do we fight this? As best as possible? And we hit it from every possible medical way possible. I didn't matter. I just and the blessing of my financial situation allowed me to do that to shut things down and say we're in a game, let's fight this thing and let's do it with abandon, we're gonna beat this thing and let's give it a fight, and so that's what we did. I was blessed to have people like my wife, my son, people like Brendan Brendan got angry at me because I didn't call him enough to tell him in and to have people in your life that sat back and said, hey, checking in on you.
Speaker 1:
But it's a tough battle and it's still, truth be told, it's not. The surgeon that I have is a great surgeon. He said you and I will be in the relationship for the rest of our life because it's a high reoccurring cancer. And so I go in for regular scopes, regular checkups and everything, and so it's never too far from the mind and as the week before I'm going in for a scope I just did it just before the holidays that week, I keep telling my wife I know what a defendant feels like when they say that the jury reached a verdict. Come on into the courtroom and it's like you're going in and you're just all right, you're on pins and needles and he says you're all clear and so. But it's taken discipline. It's taken a whole lot of self-awareness, discipline from a diet standpoint, from a workout standpoint, from a mind standpoint, to stay and not allow the demons to take hold.
Speaker 3:
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Speaker 2:
You know, oftentimes when people go through that challenge and adversity, the demons don't just take over the body, it takes over the mind, it takes over the desire to have a will to write a book, to speak, to give, to serve, to work. And one of the things that I just think is amazing, because I've heard you share with me your fight with cancer. But then I see the consistency of all these events you continue to do with Brendan and the passion you have with Brendan. And you've already written the Entrepreneurial Solution, one Best Selling Book, and now we've got Building your Money Machine, which is gonna be the next best selling book, and we'll get everybody all the notes and ways to stay connected and learn more about the book and the final release date and everything.
Speaker 2:
But some people just give up, and even a doctor to say to you well, we're gonna have this long time. People just they give up. But what do you mean? It's gonna be so they stop and they shut down. And you had this energy when you talk about Brendan and I know specifics that you've shared with me, but I just wanna talk about just that connection.
Speaker 2:
You have a passion for helping Brendan be his best on that stage and I'm very intentional in the way that I watch people and I watched you behind the scenes in that stage, meticulously wanting everything to be right, meticulously wanting it to be right for Brendan. And then I hear you talk about it and it's just. I just want everybody I don't even know if this is a question or more of just a highlight for you before we talk about the book and so many of the amazing things you have done and continue to do, but it was amazing for me to see somebody that has battled and fought to still give and serve Cause the easy thing for people. I just you know, brendan, it's been a hell of a ride, buddy, but I don't have time. So maybe that is the question when does that come from, that selfless mindset that you have?
Speaker 1:
So the first response to that is that's a place of joy. For me. It doesn't feel like work, I get lost in it, I get lost in that service and lost in the mission, and there's joy in it. I remember it was shortly after my second surgery that I went to a smaller event. And they go. You okay to be here. I said. Not only am I okay, I need to be as tired as those things can be. I feel fueled and energized by them and I recognized that I needed them as much as maybe they needed me. But I needed them more at that time and I needed to be in that environment of positivity, of moving forward, of staying in the game.
Speaker 1:
Because I see my mom's. She just turned 90, 90-ish she won't tell us, she gets you know and she's been on dialysis five and a half years, which is a long time. You're not usually like that. But I watch her and what I thought originally was regret, I've come to realize it's not regret. If it's a regret, it's a regret for the fact that she didn't appreciate the life she had. There's so many times that she says you know, your dad was a good man.
Speaker 1:
I didn't appreciate and I don't ever want to be in that place where I look back and go. I didn't appreciate the days I had, what the cancer did, was it allowed me to understand, like I said, the importance of the moments, to realize as much as they told us growing up hey, you only have a certain amount of time here, yeah, whatever you know. But the fact is is we only have a certain amount of time here. Are we gonna make it matter? Are we gonna make it mean something? Are we gonna do something? Not monumental in a sense they're gonna misstatue us in names on buildings but just something meaningful when I think that I believe that each one of us was brought here for a reason.
Speaker 1:
Each one of us have a specific, unique gift and the purpose of that is to give it to the world. And when we don't give it to the world, we disrespect the gift and we disrespect the journey and we disrespect the uniqueness and it dies inside of us. I don't want anything dying inside of me. I literally want to sit back and go. I want to get to those last days, my toes on the edge of that thing, looking back, sweaty, dirty and tired, and go. Just hell to run. I'm ready to go.
Speaker 2:
Well, you certainly do that in everything that you do. I could see it in that meticulous nature of what I saw and one of the things that I really respect and admire about you. And we're gonna keep this all positive because what I'm about to say, we could go down a whole nother tangent, Because I just have a feeling that you believe what I believe. I have now such a low tolerance for people giving financial advice that are in horrible financial affairs, Like they haven't saved any money and they may never retire and they're giving financial advice.
Speaker 2:
Or the person who all of a sudden has a brand new coaching program but they've never coached anybody, but they went to a seminar. I mean it drives me nuts. And what I admire about you and you subtly mentioned it but because you worked hard, because you were smart with your money, because you did things over a long period of time. Everybody wants the quick fix, the quick hit, the quick solution, the quick, wealthy way, but you were able to say gosh. When I battled cancer, I was able to say, hey, whatever needs to be done, because of how hard I've worked and what I've believed in my disciplines, that's happened.
Speaker 2:
And so when I see your podcast you've written the affluent blueprint it's like bring it on, give me the blueprint because you're an example that people can follow. How important. And then we're gonna talk about the book. How important has it been for you to not just be somebody who read the books or was an accountant and learned a lot about finances but they weren't in order? How important has it been for you, as a leader in this space, to be an example by taking care of your money the right way?
Speaker 1:
I think it's everything from the perspective because, look, I got a CPA license, I got a valuation credence, I got all the credences, I got all the licenses. And I think that there's so much more to the fact that I lived it that there is nothing that I talk about, that I just I lived. So I speak not from, I don't speak from just an education, I speak from a knowing, I speak from learning, and it's something that is I can truly say this is my truth, it's given me the piece. It started with the picture that Jeremy drew. I knew I had to do money differently. I knew I had to do business differently. I knew I had to do life differently If I was gonna take care of the greatest gift that was given to me. And then the importance of it really came full circle in the cancer Cause. Now I sat back and said I'm gonna fight for my life, I'm getting back in the ring. I used to fight competitively. I'm back in the ring. And so, if you're gonna fight that, I had to fight it spiritually and energetically, medically, psychologically, all of it, but I didn't have to fight it financially and that was a gift. And it's a gift to be able to do that. It's a blessing. I feel it was a privilege, but it was something that allowed me to do this and then. So let's just do some timing so we understand where this came from.
Speaker 1:
I got diagnosed in June of 2019. Pandemic hits in 2020. I watched people struggle in the pandemic financially. I saw people destroyed and I had a dear friend of mine who said if they knew what you knew, would they have struggled as much, If they did what you're telling people to do? And I said no. He said then maybe this is your path. And so this is where the whole the book, the speaking, the show, everything came out of.
Speaker 1:
Because in the process of healing, I did it through, I'm doing it through service daily, I'm doing through giving daily and literally I was on Brendan's stage speaking in Austin 2,000 people and then he had me do some Q and A after I did my session, because we had a little extra time and I listened to the questions and I got backstage. This was almost a year ago, a little over a year ago, november and he says what's up? And I said there's a lot of uncertainty in the world, there's a lot of pain out there. And he said yeah, and I said they need access to this and they can't get access to me necessarily. And he says so what do you think? And I said I'll write the book. And that's how the book was born. 75 days from me making the decision, I had the first manuscript.
Speaker 2:
So how excited are you about this book? Tell us about the excitement, because, see, that's another thing. You hear something, you feel something, but this is the history. I hope everybody's listening. You take action and you do it. And so that's what I think is so unique about this book, because a lot of people could hear that feedback and say, well, it just means I could do this, but I don't have time for it. But you did it. So how excited are you for the release of this book? Building your money machine.
Speaker 1:
Here's how I look at it this is the whole new season of my life is to serve. I truly believe so. My firm belief and you see it in the book I say it is that financial freedom is a birthright. We just need to go claim it.
Speaker 1:
We don't want to talk about money, we don't want to have conversations. You demonize money. The media doesn't like money. But you know what? Money is? Just a tool. It's no different than a hammer, a screwdriver. But let's show how you can have peace. So we take one aspect Financial wellness destroys relationships, destroys productivity, destroys marriages, it destroys profitability.
Speaker 1:
Let's give them financial wellness, because you know what? It's actually simple. It may not be easy, but it's simple. Just do the right things and let's get them in the game.
Speaker 1:
And so, for me, I'm looking at, saying, if I look at my history and my journey, for all of a sudden, the book represents the culmination of my well, I'm 62, so six decades on this earth. Because all of a sudden I can look back and I can follow the trail and go. This is how I got here, because, look, I'm a freaking accountant. You wouldn't expect me to be doing this stuff. And yeah, that's what drives me. And so I'm so excited. Because not because the book has come out I'm so excited? Because I think that we have the opportunity to allow people to become the inflection point in their family tree, that they get a chance to be that point in their generational living, to have the generations beyond look back and go. Uncle Bobby made a difference and because he did that and because he made one decision, just like my dad did, to come here, life is different for us and that's why I'm so excited about it.
Speaker 2:
I'm excited for readers to get their hands on the book. We're gonna make it as easy as possible in the show notes for people to stay connected with you, as well as the details and the release of the book, ways to get on a VIP list for all of those updates. And here's something that I think is special and I've just once again we have a whole nother podcast episode about this. You know there's a lot of people that do things because it's for money. Oh, I wanna start this business for money. I wanna write a book because I think I could make a lot of money. And I'm gonna ask all of our readers.
Speaker 2:
You have a man of passion, a fighter, who's in front of your screen right now, who is not doing this for money. He just shared with you that because of feedback he gets of people who are struggling in this country with their money, and most of you. I was a financial advisor for over 10 years, so I know many people. They don't share the truth about their financial situation until they talk to their accountant or they talk to their financial advisor, so I know some of you might be struggling. So here's a man could Carol us about making money on this book. He wrote this book for you so that you have a better relationship with your money and your money works hard for you when you're done saving your money, please, if you have friends, families, relatives, support the book, because many people do things for the wrong reasons and this is a man who is living, working and doing for the right reasons. Now you understand why I say Mel Abraham is a special friend. So, mel, this has been a joy. I feel like we gotta talk for two more hours.
Speaker 2:
I appreciate you so much. I did send a message to Brendan actually earlier this morning saying man, I gotta get back on that growth day stage and so hopefully I get to see you before that happens. But if that's the next time I see you, I can't wait. You really are a gift, mel. Thank you so much for joining us on the burn.
Speaker 1:
Buddy, you are a gift too, and I appreciate you and I'm looking forward to seeing how we gel in the future the things that we get a chance to do and share with the world.
Speaker 2:
I can't wait for all of those interactions and for those of you. Once again, if you have questions about your money, if you have questions about your life, your future, if you've done things the right way, talk to somebody. It might not be this book. Don't keep that to yourself. I talked to enough people in my career. Mel talked to enough people in his career who hide from the truth about their situation, and if you hide from the truth, it'll never get better, and sometimes people aren't courageous enough to say those things.
Speaker 2:
I think Mel and I carry that in our hearts. We want you to get courageous and do the things and have the conversations and live realistically and understand what you need to do to live a better, stronger, more financially sound life. This has been the burn. You know how we do it. Every week we're gonna bring you an amazing story of a Mel Abraham who helps you understand why that burn is so important, so that you can ignite that, why, in purpose, show up on the days that you don't wanna do it, and especially after you win. This has been the burn, mel Abraham. Thank you again, until next week. We'll see you soon.