This episode of The Burn Podcast is giving YOU a front row seat in the historic Alex Theatre from Brendon Burchard’s GrowthDayLA event. @BrendonBurchard
This event was packed full of some the highest performance coaches in the world (and one you might recognize, ;)
We wanted to bring this special episode to the show because the energy and emotion was HIGH- but Ben talked about something very close to him and had a very important challenge to the entire audience.
Go check out this episode on Youtube or wherever YOU get your podcasts.
This episode of The Burn Podcast is giving YOU a front row seat in the historic Alex Theatre from Brendon Burchard’s GrowthDayLA event. @BrendonBurchard
This event was packed full of some the highest performance coaches in the world (and one you might recognize, ;)
We wanted to bring this special episode to the show because the energy and emotion was HIGH- but Ben talked about something very close to him and had a very important challenge to the entire audience.
Go check out this episode on Youtube or wherever YOU get your podcasts.
Because if you have that energy today, if you have that energy when you spend time with Brendan and you had it on the first of last month when you did this then why can't you have it tomorrow? ["burned.
Speaker 2:
Podcast"]. Welcome back to the Burned Podcast. On this week's episode, we're giving you a front row seat from Growth Day LA, hosted by Brendan Bouchard. Brendan was the final speaker of this incredible lineup of speakers and we wanted to share this extremely powerful part of his talk, where he challenged everyone in the crowd to do something very, very important. Now let's get into this week's episode. ["burned?
Speaker 1:
Podcast"]. You cannot believe that I'm here and you're gonna understand it more when I tell you about tomorrow. Let me repeat that I cannot believe that I am here with all of you and you're gonna understand it a lot better when I tell you about tomorrow, november 2nd, about eight years ago, when you travel as much as I have to travel to do the work that I do. And I will tell you. Let me just give a little shout-out to Mama Newman. My wife and I this month will be married 17 years. We got two beautiful children, 15 and 13.
Speaker 1:
My eighth book came out earlier in the year and in the acknowledgements I sat down to write the acknowledgements and I'm like I've been so blessed to have mentors and coaches. I still have two coaches. I'm still reading books every day. I'm trying to figure this thing out and so you know you're ready to thank everybody. In the acknowledgements I said no, no, no, this one's for my wife. We've been together over 18 years. I've been doing coaching and speaking work for 18 years. She has never said no. She's always said I'm just gonna make it work. You know that support, when you have it from the right people in your life, provides all the self-esteem you need when you have love and you feel passionate in a relationship, and it ain't easy. Our kids are 15 and 13. So I'm not saying it's all like sunshine and rainbows. I come home and it's like baby, take the trash out and go get the dog you know what Out the yard. But she's never said no.
Speaker 1:
So, because I travel so much time away from the home, when I'm home, I'm home and I encourage you in our time together tonight, as we approach this finish line from this amazing day, I want you to not think about having focus in your life, because I believe focus is not enough. If you really want to take it to the next level and drive continual peak performance, you have to have intentional focus. That means you have to find your edge in the details. You have to find what matters and you have to get serious about what matters and you have to change how you think and you have to change the decisions that you make with great discipline and intentional focus. So I made a decision years ago I'm going to wake up really early, trent. At dinner we can talk about my rest. Come on, you guys are supposed to laugh at that. And so I wake up early in order to get my routine done.
Speaker 1:
Because I spend so much time away. I take my kids to school every day that I'm home, so I want to take you to one of these rides to school. About eight years ago, I dropped the kids off at school. At the time they were going to the same school and I dropped the kids off, it was November 2nd. St Louis, missouri, is my home, so it was one of those kind of whether it didn't know if it wanted to be warm, didn't know if it wanted to be cold, didn't know what it wanted to do, which is kind of typical St Louis in November. It's not out here in like California. It's the most perfect weather you've ever seen, every single day.
Speaker 1:
And so I dropped the kids off at school and all of a sudden I don't know if you have any rides that you go on that are like this, but like I'm getting ready to go on this ride and I've been on this ride so many times in my life and I'm behind the car and it's almost like the car can just get to where you're going, you don't even have to like touch the wheel. That's how many times I've been to this spot before. So I start making my way and I'm like I'm going to the same place. I'm going to the same place. So I start making my way, and it probably needed a little more intentional focus to the road, because I'm literally just kind of lost in emotion. Car makes a turn, car makes another turn. Finally, I get to this left hand turn. I've made it hundreds of times in my life and this left hand turn takes you into these large stone and then there's big iron gates that are connected to these large stone posts and the gates are open. I make a left hand turn and there's like a big circle shape drive and I peel off to the right hand side. I go up in this circle of this drive and I park my car in the exact same place that I park it every single time. I turn the car off, take a deep breath, have my feet hit the ground as I step out of the car.
Speaker 1:
More emotion Make my way out from the back of the car and all of a sudden I look and you can tell that the seasons are changing because the leaves have been falling off the trees and so, if you can picture, there's this long sidewalk and I'm getting ready to go on this sidewalk and it's just covered in leaves and then you can tell that where I am it's old, because it's not smooth pavement that was just poured. This is like that pavement that's kind of rocky because it's been there for a long, long time. I start to put one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other. You could probably hear from my description the leaves that are crunching up under my feet, one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, just like for you on your journey in life. That's sometimes what it feels like you feel like you have nothing left in the tank, but sometimes you just connect to something We'll talk about that later and that something causes you to take just one more step and then another step and I make a right hand turn, where I always make this right hand turn, and then I stand right in front of this huge heart, shaped it's got a beautiful rosy tone to it oversized tombstone and if you could picture, this big heart of this tombstone comes down and at the point of the heart, janet Fishman, newman, september 18, 1948 to November 2, 1986.
Speaker 1:
Y'all remember the date of the story Y'all remember? I mentioned tomorrow. Does everybody know what the date is? Today, I'm standing in front of my mother's tombstone. There's a quote on my mother's tombstone that says life is not measured in distance traveled, but rather by the path taken. Trent, you hit me in my heart because what were you really empowering and inspiring everybody to do? Say don't go, take somebody else's path. You take your path, and when you take your path and you make the decisions and choices every single day, you will impact people's lives. My mother was a teacher, single mother, divorced. When I was six months old, fighting to make ends meet, had to divorce my father for reasons that were so hard on her that when she passed away and my father moved back into the house, I had to live with all of those reasons why my mother divorced my dad. But you don't get to divorce your father.
Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
My mother is the greatest champion of life I've ever known. My mother taught me how to fight. My mother taught me what it means to have passion. My mother taught me what it means to have conviction. My mother taught me what it means to live one day at a time and choose to own it. Now everybody just saw this vein pop out of my neck. Did you see that? So we got to get something clear. When you see that vein pop now you know that's called passion. I'm not yelling at anybody, all right. My mother taught me what it means. If you're given this day, then you better own that day.
Speaker 1:
Now, did I understand that as a seven-year-old boy when your mother dies 11 days before your eighth birthday? No, I didn't understand it then. But I was blessed to have mentors and coaches and people to pick me up off that mat of life to help me understand. You have it in you if you choose to keep it in you. I'm not yelling at anybody. I'm not yelling at anybody. I'm not yelling at any young American, but you understand the strength of this passion. I'm not trying to help me understand. You have it in you if you choose to keep going, just like Brendan, as soon as he comes on to that stage, all that dancing, that fire, that energy. That's his way of saying I love you, I know you have it in you and we're going to go get it today. And so when I see that energy, when I look out and I see all of you and I feel your energy, I say now, wait a second, we got to energy today. If you have that energy when you spend time with Brendan, if you have that energy and you had it the last time that you saw Brendan and you had it on the first or last month when you did this then why can't you have it tomorrow and why can't you have it the next day and why can't you have it the day after that?
Speaker 1:
Because when I said to you I can't believe I'm here today, it's because I had a father who moved into that home, who was a drug addict and an alcoholic. I had a father who was manic depressive. I had a father who told me that I would never be worth anything. I had a father who, when I was young and overweight, I was getting teased at school when I would step on the scale you know that presidential physical fitness test Hated that damn thing. Every year it came around. I wasn't built for physical fitness. Then let me tell you and I stepped on that scale one time. I'm in fifth grade I weighed 125 pounds and I promise you, I wasn't sixth to then. And I remember one of the kids behind me. He says baloo, good luck, y'all can laugh, it's okay, I figured it out and I would get that at school. And it's bad enough, you get it at school. Then I gotta I mean Trent, I gotta go get it at home. It wasn't bad enough, dad, you couldn't see. You couldn't see that like it was hard enough to have 24 hour nursing care in the house. Before you moved in, I had to watch my mother die before my eyes. As a seven year old boy, I had to climb under my mother's IV wires to tuck her in at night. I can't believe I'm here because of what happened on the date tomorrow.
Speaker 1:
I had a father who called me names that I don't even want to repeat standing on this stage, and sometimes words are far worse than a fist. A fist, those bruises will go away, but your words will haunt me for life. And I remember one time I finally built up the courage. Right, you're just this young boy and all of a sudden I'm making this list but, dad, you called me this, dad, you called me that, dad, you called me this, dad, you called me that. And all of a sudden, finally, my dad's having one of his episodes and he's letting me have it and I remember I said, dad, hold on a minute. And I go into my desk drawer and I pull out the desk drawer and I grab the list and I say, dad, here's all the names you've been calling me Denied at all, never happened.
Speaker 1:
There were so many days where I felt I was alone. There were so many days that I felt I had nowhere to go. I didn't express it this way back then, but I've learned to express it this way now. Every day, my mother is watching me. Every day, god gives me an opportunity to take what he gave me. I now look at it as a blessing that my mom's up there giving me a little extra so I get to take it all.
Speaker 1:
I call that your burn. You see individuals that do the work that we do. They talk about why and they talk about purpose. That's not enough. Until you understand what your burn is, I don't believe you'll drive the consistency in your life with great discipline to understand continual peak performance. I don't think you will silence the voices of the naysayers who are out there or maybe in your own home. I don't think you'll be able to silence the self-talk that holds you back from driving more consistency and staying focused not only on the days that you don't want to do it, but when you win.
Speaker 1:
Now, how do I know this to be the truth? I appreciate you listening to my story, but how do I know this to be the truth? Because I'm not the only one in here that has a story, each and every single one of you. You have a story. You have a story of pain and challenge that you've been through in your life that helps you understand and provides perspective on those days that you don't want to do it. You realize you do have more, but it's a choice to take it one day at a time, and so the challenge today is that you never lose sight of your opportunity to connect to that burn every day, because when you do it, you will no longer waste your days.
Speaker 1:
And for many people, that burn comes in many forms. Some it's pain. Some of you are hearing what I'm saying and you understand. You can already relate. Some of you. Let me help you with different things that I've seen. Some people say if you saw the sacrifice that my parents made to have this opportunity, I cannot waste a day. Some people connect to the fact that maybe in your home, because it's happening in my home right now.
Speaker 1:
It happened with these two little eyes when I watched my mother come to the dining room table with an IV, stand out of a hospital room in the back of our house. Just like I told you, I went in front of that tombstone. Every time I go one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, understanding that your purpose overtakes your pain. She had no strength to make it to the head of that dining room table, but she would make it to the head of that dining room table and pan over to the right and look at my older brother, drew, and say, drew, how was your day at school? And then she would look to the left and look me dead square in the eyes and say, honey, how was your day at school? You notice I got the honey because I was the younger son. You're darn right. So maybe for you there's little eyes in your house, like these little eyes watch my mom, and I'm going to cut it to your reel, because that's what I do Sometimes, the action I don't challenge enough, but I'll always cut it to your reel.
Speaker 1:
The example you set in your home, the example you set for those that you lead, the example you set for those that you coach, those that you mentor, those you're an example for. That's the example they have. That's where their belief system comes from. Let me cut it to your reel again. I had no intention of talking about this. You want to end racism in this country. Get into the damn homes of this country and let's start having some real conversations. You want to fix things in this country. We got to get into people's homes and figure out what is it that these young people are hearing. Because you don't come out that way.
Speaker 1:
And if growth day and these opportunities if you heard the stuff that I heard in my house and thank goodness I didn't hear any of that stuff, it was just stuff about me. My dad was a beautiful man that saw opportunity in everybody. My dad did have that but if there's things that you heard where sometimes you feel broken, that's why you come to opportunities like this to change. That's why you say, just because I saw one example, it doesn't have to be that way for me. Their belief systems don't have to be my belief systems. What I believe I can achieve comes from what I believe, what comes out of my mouth, the fuel I give myself and the action I'm willing to take, not what somebody says about me. And that's where you have a choice to wake up every day and say never again, because even though I could show my dad that list and he would still treat me like I was weak. I went and sought mentors and coaches who have now become characters in the books that I write. My high school basketball coach. I took him to Kansas State University last week and he was on the sideline with me. I take him every single year since he retired Because that man was there for me when my father wasn't.
Speaker 1:
And so sometimes you have to find the people in your life who are going to be there for you no matter what, and this I can promise you. You don't need a big circle, because small circles create big damage. You need the right people in your life. You need the people who are going to love you and support you. And so, from going through the pain that I've went through just like you've gone through pain, the first challenge, the action step I have for you If you got fueled by Brendan, if you got fueled by Ed, if you got fueled by Trent, if you got fueled by Lori, if I'm bringing anything to you right now, then don't you owe it to yourself to connect to the deep rooted fire that lies inside of you, to not waste a day.
Speaker 1:
Am I asking too much of you to make the first thing that you do when you wake up, you connect to that fire. Because let me tell you something about me when I wake up, I'm ready to go. So, like Brendan, you made me wait until 6 pm to speak, brother, we got to talk about that later Because, like bro, I wake up like cut me loose. You can't leave me like that all day. There's a burn that lies inside of you and you don't need to act crazy like me. You don't need to jump around like Brendan, but you got to let that fire fuel you to be you.
Speaker 1:
And if I'm asking too much of you to wake up every single day and drive intentional focus to the real fire inside of you. Come on now. How easy is it to do that and to understand that when you connect to the burn, the burn is what ignites your why and purpose. I'm not saying why and purpose are not important, don't get my words twisted. What I'm saying is, once you connect to the burn, that is what actually ignites the why and purpose and causes you to show up on the days that you don't want to do it, and especially after you win. And when you decide to win on the good days and the bad days, based upon the discipline and the fire and the burn that lies inside of you, your life will never be the same.
Speaker 1:
That's why I said come on, let's accept this challenge and let's say we ain't wasting days anymore. Because what did I tell you when we started? I said, look. I said I can't believe I'm here because of the pain that I went through to get here. And when I tell you about tomorrow, which is November 2nd, now you understand my pain. But my pain has not been what has caused me to show up the way that I have. It's the burn because of my mother's example. So if I only stayed focused on what was breaking me, if I only stayed focused on what makes people weak.
Speaker 1:
I could have been that story where people say, man, you remember that guy Ben? Like he was in our class and you know he had that dad who was a drug addict, alcoholic man mom died at seven years old. Like, remember, like, oh, man, you should see what he's doing. Like I can't get anything going and we all know people like that. But I was blessed to have all those individuals who just kept picking me up and that's why I know for you, when you connect to that burn, your days will never be the same and we're not going to waste them.
Speaker 1:
Would it be too much if I asked you to connect to your burn and then, like two minutes, connect in the morning every day? Would that be all right? You see, because a lot of people they see these rings and that's what they think winning is. I see the relationships, I see their hearts, I see their fire. Winning is not a ring. Winning is not how much money you make. Winning is your ability, one day at a time, to look yourself in the mirror and say, today I gave it my very best.